


better date than never

by Alphinia



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Both of them are oblivious idiots, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jiara July, Kiara Has Feelings For JJ (Outer Banks), Lots of Kiara and Sarah friendship too because why not, Sarah Ships It, Slow Burn, fake wedding date, idiots to lovers, or as slow burn as you can get in 20k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25590661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alphinia/pseuds/Alphinia
Summary: “My cousin’s getting married.”“Spit it out, Kie.”“Well, we got our invitations the other day and I told my mom I have a plus one.”He took a sip of his milkshake, something unreadable passing across his face. “So what? You want me to hook you up? News flash, we don’t know that many people.”She didn’t say anything immediately, because, wow. Apparently the prospect was even more out of left field than she thought. Her expression and silence said plenty, because she could see the moment his face changed when it dawned on him.“You’ve lost it,” he declared.________________________________Kiara is sick of her mom badgering her about the single groomsmen at her cousin's wedding, so obviously, taking JJ as her date is the perfect solution. It won't be complicated. Not at all.[Jiara July- Day four, Destination]
Relationships: JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)
Comments: 56
Kudos: 229
Collections: Jiara July Jubilee





	better date than never

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely longer than it needed to be, but hope you enjoy! This fic is the main reason I won't have something published every day for jiara week.

It was past ten pm when Kiara tugged on the back of JJ’s shirt. “Can you give me a ride home?”

It had been a pleasant evening sat around the campfire, roasting marshmallows with the Pogues (And Sarah) before John B, Pope, and Sarah headed off for their second year of college. Pope had long since gone home, claiming he needed to be well rested for the furthering of his education, and JJ was plopped in the dirt at her feet, leaning back on her knees.

Even though she was a legal adult, her parents would be wondering where she was, and it was probably best that John B and Sarah got some sleep soon. They had a busy day moving into their new apartment in Chapel Hill the next day.

“All you keep me around for is to give me orders,” JJ complained, pushing himself dramatically off the ground. He offered a hand to Kiara, tugging her to her feet. For once, he wasn’t high on anything but sugar, so she figured he was the best candidate to drop her off. “Someone take me with them so I’m not trapped with this monster.”

He was all talk. The two of them had gotten closer over the past year, after Kiara had returned from her stint at a marine life rescue center in Australia. Kiara had always wanted to explore, to experience the word and advocate for environmental rights all over the globe. She’d managed three months abroad before she’d shown up back at her parents’ door, bags in hand.

She craved the wonders of the world, but she craved the Pogues more. She’d go back at some point, she told herself. There was time. When she had her share of the gold (It had been caught up in some legal issues and wouldn’t be distributed until each of them was twenty-one), she would be able to travel more freely, see what she wanted to. Maybe eventually she’d settle back in the Outer Banks, and fund her own marine rescue center right at home.

Hopefully by that point, John B at least would be home from college, because JJ coped with loneliness worse than she did. He kept the Chateau plenty warm while his best friend was gone, though.

“Blessed you mean,” Kiara corrected.

“You and I have a different definition, let me tell you.”

Kiara flicked him on arm, pushing past him to wrap John B in a tight hug, because he was closest. He was warm and familiar, and she knew she’d miss his hugs desperately when he was gone once again. He’d always given such good ones.

“Be good at college,” she said, into his shirt.

“Yeah, yeah,” John B said, even though she knew he’d always sort of liked her fussing over him.

Next was Sarah, who squeezed her neck. “Call me. And visit. Remember all the cute boutiques,” Sarah ordered.

The goodbye was only marginally easier than the first time, last fall. Kiara had grown used to it being just she and JJ over the long winter months, but she had just as quickly fallen back into the pattern of spending every day with all the Pogues when summer had arrived.

Even though they weren’t technically that far, it would never be the same as seeing them every day. And watching them all pack up, headed back to their futures, made her slightly sick to her stomach. She couldn’t help but feel a little like life was blurring by too quickly for comfort.

JJ headed for his beat up red bike, which was a death trap at the best of times, instead of John B’s van, which was marginally less of a death trap. Although she’d gotten a little more used to riding it than she’d like over the past year, she huffed. “JJ.”

He blinked innocently. “What? The keys to the Twinkie are in the house and I don’t feel like getting them.”

She knew he just liked to hear her swear when he made a particularly daring turn. Either that, or he liked the feeling of her boobs pressed against his back. Probably both.

“I am, after all, going out of my way to take you home.”

“Fine, but if you kill me, I’m haunting your ass.”

“Hottest ghost ever.” He mounted the bike, grinning at her, and she ignored what it did to her insides. She _definitely_ needed to get home.

Kiara pulled her hair into a quick bun (Because the wind was _brutal_ on her curls) and then climbed on behind him, wrapping her arms around him snugly. His core clenched under her hands, but she had no time to think on it, because the engine was already revving.

“Try not to kill us,” she yelled, over the roar. He waved a dismissive hand, and then her surroundings were a blur. JJ never had any concept of subtle starts and stops.

She tucked her chin into his shoulder blades, only because his terrible driving made her sick, and the wind dried her eyes. If he smelled nice, like whatever was leftover from his cheap Axe body spray, that had very little to do with it. It was all he’d ever worn, apart from the time he snatched a high dollar cologne from the mall only to accidentally bust it on the pavement two weeks later.

JJ made the occasional comment to her as they drove, even though he had to know she couldn’t really hear him. He just never seemed to be able to stop talking.

Thankfully, no curtains pulled back when they pulled into her driveway. Her mom always got bulgy eyes when she saw JJ arrive on his bike, occasionally popping wheelies, and Kiara very much doubted she’d enjoy seeing her daughter on board sans helmet.

“Here we go. One fancy Carrera mansion.”

“It’s not a mansion, JJ. See you later.” Still a bit dizzy from the ride, she added as an afterthought, “Thanks.”

“Nice to see how appreciated I am.”

Kiara considered leaning forward to smack a kiss on his cheek, but she’d already hesitated too long, so she blew him one in an exaggerated fashion instead. “Good night!”

“Night.”

She peeled open the front door to her house, hoping neither of her parents was around. She knew she looked a mess; her neck was slick with sweat, and her hair was sticking up on end from wind. There was also a large grass stain on the back of her white shorts. She wished she’d brought a jacket or button down that she could wrap around her waist to avoid commentary if she ran into her mom, but she hadn’t even considered it with the August heat.

The kitchen was empty, and there was no sound of the TV echoing from the living room. Maybe she was in the clear, after all.

“Hi, honey. You’re home late.”

Anna appeared from around the corner, and Kiara froze. Not in the clear after all.

Ever since Kiara had returned from Australia, she and her mom had retained a very fragile system. Technically, she was living under her parents’ roof, so she had to respect them, but she was also technically an adult. Anna seemed very reluctant to give her any excuse to go running off to another foreign country, so she tried to reel her commentary on Kiara’s habits to passive aggressive _oh, did you have something planned tomorrow_ ’s And _I hear so and so college offers environmental courses in the spring_ ’s.

Kiara saw no _point_ in college. With Ward and Rafe thrown in jail and her share of the gold coming through as soon as she hit twenty-one, there was no need to waste her time or efforts. She could do what she wanted to do just fine, without a useless degree.

“Yeah. The others are heading back tomorrow, so we wanted to spend some time together.”

“Ah,” Anna said, nodding like she knew exactly what Kiara meant. Kiara knew she didn’t. She’d never understood her daughter’s thing with the Pogues, why those poor kids from the Cut meant so much to her. But since John B’s death scare, she had at least been making an effort, and Kiara supposed that had to count for something. “I thought I head that _thing_ the Maybank kid drives around on outside.”

“He’s really careful with passengers,” Kiara said. It was only half a lie. Although he still took sharp turns and drove entirely too fast, he was careful by JJ standards whenever she rode with him. They hadn’t crashed yet, at least.

“I’m sure.”

Anna’s voice was doubtful, but she watched Kiara with oddly eager eyes as she moseyed around the kitchen to get ice for a glass of water. She realized why when she noticed the glossy champagne parchment stuck to their fridge.

A groan threatened to escape her, the words “Brad and Charlotte” and “Please RSVP” swimming around her vision.

Her cousin smiled back at her, perfect blowout and airbrushed makeup mocking her from their thousand-dollar photo op. Charlotte was five years older than her, the daughter of her mom’s sister Lisa, who, unlike her, had continued the family legacy of marrying into money. And Charlotte always had the perfect social groups, perfect outfits, basically everything Anna had spent her entire life trying and failing to weasel out of Kiara.

“That came in the mail today,” Anna said, delighted. “Aren’t their pictures beautiful?”

“They’re great.”

Kiara’s only consolation was that her dad would be looking forward to it about as much as she was. He never liked the social events her mom thrived on, much preferring to be covered in grease and ordering his employees around in his kitchen.

“October 12th is such a good date. The weather will be perfect. Did you know Brad just graduated law school?”

Kiara did know, from the many conversations they’d had over a year ago, when Charlotte had just gotten engaged. Apparently, her Aunt Lisa was concerned Kiara would be offended if she wasn’t invited to be a bridesmaid, but Charlotte had been unable to kick anyone else out of her bridal party of twelve, and they thought thirteen was a hideous number.

Yes, Kiara had assured Charlotte, she would be more than happy to attend the wedding as only a guest. Thank God.

“We’ll have to have a shopping day for that.” Kiara should’ve known what was coming next. “It does say RSVP for yourself and your plus one…”

“ _Mom_ ,” Kiara began, but Anna was already on a roll.

“I just haven’t seen you date anyone, well, _ever,_ sweetie. You’re always running around with those friends of yours, and sometimes I’m worried it just makes it a little hard for you to meet new people. Don’t you think it might send the wrong impression?”

“They’re my _friends_ , Mom.”

“I know. I just don’t want you to miss any opportunities. You’re nineteen.”

“There is nothing wrong with being a single woman.” And there wasn’t, but her cheeks were growing hot from the reminder of her inexperience with actual relationships. The closest things she had was going to a high school formal with Tommy and fooling around after during her Kook year, and a few fumbled attempts (or considered attempts…) with the Pogues.

“I know there’s not. I just want you to be happy,” Anna said, and Kiara knew she meant well, but her ears were ringing. “If there’s not anyone you have in mind, the wedding would be a great place to meet someone. I’ve asked Lisa about a few of the groomsmen, and some of them sound nice.”

Her mom kept talking, but Kiara was no longer listening, physically recoiling at the idea of being paraded around like a pretty doll in front of a bunch of pretentious assholes. Attending the wedding itself would be terrible enough, but a line had to be drawn somewhere.

She found herself saying, “No, I have a plus one.”

Anna froze. “….Oh? Well. Okay, then.”

She was an idiot. An absolute moron. “Yeah. Put me down for one.”

Anna blinked at her, looking half wary, half curious. “Well, who is it?”

Maybe her mom had grated on her nerves one too many times that day, or maybe the fumes from his body spray had invaded her brain, but she found herself saying the first person who came to mind.

“JJ.”

Any eagerness melted off of Anna’s face, and despite her internal screaming, Kiara allowed herself a small amount of satisfaction. “JJ _Maybank_?”

“Mhmm.”

“I thought you two were just friends?” Anna sounded almost desperate for that to be the case. She hated the idea of her daughter running around with someone named Maybank anyway; Kiara could only imagine how she felt at the prospect of her dating one. It didn’t fit with the perfect image she had tried and failed to maintain over the years.

“We are,” she blurted, but Anna was already giving her a look she wouldn’t be able to argue with, so she continued. “We’re just kind of trying things out. You know, to see? “

“Kiara…”

“What, Mom?”

“Wedding plus ones are for dates, not crashing with your friends.”

“I just told you we’re trying things out.”

They held each other’s gazes for a long moment. Finally, Anna let out an exhale that sounded a lot like defeat. “Okay… I’ll put us down for four, if you’re sure.”

Kiara merely nodded, no longer able to find words.

“But if you have to change your mind, that’s okay too.” Anna’s eyes searched hers, and Kiara sensed she was torn between fretting over the idea of her daughter romantically involved with the town pariah and asking for more details. Unfortunately (Or fortunately, depending on how she looked at it), there weren’t actually any details to give.

Aside from, _Actually, we really are just friends, but sometimes when his good heart shows too much it’s hard for me to ignore_ and _Neither of us can afford to lose anyone, so the risk isn’t worth it._

It was probably safer to leave, before her mom’s curiosity overpowered her silent disapproval. She said, “Well, I guess I’ll go shower. I’m pretty tired.”

She was halfway up the stairs when Anna called out to her again.

“Honey?” Kiara paused. She tilted her head, like she was just curious instead of freaking out. “”Don’t forget to put those shorts in the wash. Might need some Bleach.”

Any regret she may have felt about fibbing to her mom melted away, leaving room for nothing but mild annoyance and steadily growing panic about how exactly she was going to continue to spin this story.

There was no other option as far as she was concerned. She’d have to convince JJ to play along.

It would be _fine_. It was JJ.

After her shower, she lay in her queen-sized bed, mind still racing and scrolling through social media in an attempt to distract herself. JJ had posted a really unflattering photo of Pope’s nostrils on his Snapchat story, and Sarah had several posts of John B and JJ having an epic light saber battle with their marshmallow roasting sticks.

She’d also posted a photo of JJ and Kiara by the fire, with him leaning against her knees. It was captioned with nothing but a heart.

A pit rose in Kiara’s stomach. Photo her looked entirely too happy to be staring down at the back of JJ’s head.

She flicked out of the story, and then promptly flicked back to screenshot it.

She was fucked. Royally.

* * *

Kiara didn’t know why she decided to throw JJ’s name into the lion’s den. Maybe it was her way of rebelling against her mom, by taking someone she wouldn’t approve of. Maybe it was her pathetic, repressed crush wishing he was her date on some subconscious level. Maybe she was just that stupid.

Either way, she’d dug her bed, and now she had to lie in it.

It wasn’t like there was anyone better for her to take, she reasoned. Everyone knew John B had a girlfriend, and she couldn’t ask Pope, her half ex-boyfriend. That would be weird, right? He was hundreds of miles away, anyway. JJ was readily available, and he would lighten her mood at an otherwise dull event better than anyone.

Plus, he was sure to look good in a suit.

It still didn’t mean he would be particularly happy about it. He’d balk at the prospect of being stuck socializing with her entire extended family, especially at some stuffy, formal event. JJ had always had a thing about parents, and she knew exactly why, which made things a little more complicated.

Kiara had chickened out of telling him when they went surfing yesterday morning, but she knew the longer she waited, the worse it would be. She figured it wouldn’t hurt to have something to butter him up, though.

She’d texted him halfway through her shift at the Wreck asking if he wanted to have dinner when they both got off, because yes, they did that sometimes when the others were all out of town. She tried not to think too hard about the domestic implications.

He texted back almost immediately.

**JJ [3:48 pm]:** _I have hot pockets_

**JJ [3:49 pm]:** _Pizza or cheeseburger, take your pick_

**JJ [3:49 pm]** : _Actually im thinking the pizza ones are a safer bet_

JJ liked to text in rapid little bursts, something that had made her tense up fromt he constant buzzing of her phone when they first became friends. Now, it just made her roll her eyes fondly.

She refilled two glasses of sweet tea for a Touron family with a screaming toddler before texting back, _Ew. I’ll pass on the toxic chemicals. I’m bringing the food._

**JJ [4:01 pm]:** _If you insist_

Much later, Kiara had carefully packed away a tray of shrimp and grits for him and a grilled chicken sandwich for her. It was his favorite meal from the Wreck, because she figured she might as well go in heavily armed.

After a moment of deliberation, she spun him a chocolate milkshake to go with it.

All or nothing.

She’d hugged her dad goodbye and tucked the plates away in the passenger seat of her car when her phone dinged again.

**JJ [6:43 pm]:** _Hey Kie_

**JJ [6:43 pm]:** _Will be really late. Sorry_

**JJ [6:44 pm]:** _Fuckin Kook demanding his car back today_

It was already pushing seven. JJ inhaled food like a bear preparing for hibernation at the best of times, so he had to be starving. Making a decision, she pulled the car in gear.

Ten minutes later, she was parked outside the mechanic shop he worked at.

There was nothing else parked out front, just JJ’s bike and a few boats that looked like they still needed a lot of work done. Her suspicions of the place being pretty much empty were confirmed when she hesitantly pushed open the door, and no receptionist or other employees greeted her.

Kiara found JJ slid under a newer model sports car, legs outstretched and tools scattered all around him.

He stilled. Once she was confident he saw the tips of her converse from his view in under the car (Because JJ didn’t like to be snuck up on), she toed him in the ribs.

“Hey, Doofus. Dinner’s here.”

JJ rolled out from under the vehicle, grinning at her in surprised kind of way. He did that sometimes when she did something particularly nice for him, she’d noticed. It both saddened and frustrated her.

“Thank God. I’m starving.” He made grabby hands at her bags, but she took a step back, giving an exaggerated wrinkle of her nose.

“No way. Wash your hands. You’re disgusting.”

She was kind of lying. Sure, he was decked out in patchy, brown overalls that looked like they had seen better days, and his hair was slicked with oil and sweat from the stuffy confines of the garage. He certainly needed a shower, but disgusting probably wasn’t the word she’d use.

Frankly, it was unfair. Since when did someone in fucking overalls look attractive to her?

“Just a little dirt,” JJ said, although he was holding his hands under the water at the utility sink in the corner. She didn’t spot any soap nearby, which didn’t appear to be a concern for him. “I can’t believe I’m staying overtime for this asshole, but he’s paying me extra. Shit, I can’t wait until we get our gold so I can pay people ridiculous amounts to work for me.”

“Spoken like a true Kook in the making.”

He slung water at her from the sink, and she skittered away, laughing. “Hey! You’re aiming at the girl who’s got your food.”

JJ stopped the fledgling water war immediately.

There was no table in the garage, so they headed over to two dusty old lawn chairs that were probably older than them. JJ shoved an empty beer carton out of one and took the other, which had the wobbliest leg. She passed him his tray, and he whooped when he opened it.

“You might be the best person ever,” he said, between mouthfuls of shrimp and grits.

Kiara took an experimental sip of the chocolate shake she’d brought him, and it was delicious, as expected. She’d stuck one of her metal straws in it, of course. The boys always refused to keep up with them, so she had them on hand whenever possible

She waved the milkshake at him. “It gets better.”

“Fuck, I think I love you.”

Now or never, she figured, ignoring the tug in her gut.

“Good, because I sort of need a favor.”

She gave him her prettiest smile. His chewing slowed, and he looked up at her with suspicious eyes. There was a dot of oil smeared across his forehead, which she somehow found stupidly charming. “…What?”

“So there’s this thing in October.”

“And?”

“My cousin’s getting married.”

“Spit it out, Kie.”

“Well, we got our invitations the other day and I told my mom I have a plus one.”

He took a sip of his milkshake, something unreadable passing across his face. “So what? You want me to hook you up? News flash, we don’t know that many people.

She didn’t say anything immediately, because, wow. Apparently the prospect was even more out of left field than she thought. Her expression and silence said plenty, because she could see the moment his face changed when it dawned on him.

“You’ve lost it,” he declared.

Her cheeks were already growing hot, but she couldn’t back out, now. “ _JJ_.”

“Ask Pope.” JJ shook his head, eyes darting around the room like he was searching for the nearest escape route.

He had always been a bit weird about the whole seeing her kiss Pope thing. He seemed to pretend it never happened until something like this came up, and then he was blurting out Pope’s name as some kind of magical scapegoat. She didn’t know if this was one of those instances, but either way, she found herself glaring at him.

“I’m not asking Pope to fly home for a wedding.”

Even though she and Pope were totally cool now, there would still be an element of awkwardness. They’d been two stupid sixteen year olds and she had kissed him high on emotion, but it was hard to completely erase the fact that he’d once told her he loved her. That wasn’t exactly ideal fake date material.

She elected to ignore the fact that taking JJ wasn’t exactly a simpler alternative.

“Fine. A rando, then. Or go stag.” He held up his hands in a sort of ‘what can I do’ gesture.

Kiara was losing ground, quickly falling back from annoyed into the realm of shame. “Would it kill you to go with me?”

“To your Kook cousin’s wedding?” His voice was disbelieving. “ _Yes_. Violently.”

“I sort of already told my mom I was bringing you,” she admitted. Her shoulders slumped, and JJ’s gaze darted over her, looking more and more lost by the second. He never dealt well with her being upset, and the whole situation was pretty bizarre for them.

He ran a hand through his hair, probably smearing oil even more deeply into it. “Why?”

She couldn’t blame him for sounding utterly confused. She needed to get to the point.

“Um. I may have also implied we’re a thing. So here’s the deal—”

“You fucking what?” Thankfully, his grip tightened over his tray of food, and shrimp wasn’t slung all across the garage, because he looked like he nearly jumped out of his chair. The way he was looking at her, like she’d officially gone out of her mind, wasn’t doing wonders for her confidence.

“ _Listen_ , I freaked, okay?”

JJ leaned over to knock on her forehead, and then held up his other hand next to his ear to mime listening for an echo. “Yep, I was right. All empty.”

She swatted his hand away. “ _JJ_. If you don’t come, she’s going to be trying to set me up with assholes all night. If you come, no assholes. And free alcohol.”

“Ahh. So I’m an asshole buffer.” JJ clearly felt more comfortable in this more familiar context, because his entire body relaxed. He even took another idol sip of his shake. “I do enjoy free alcohol.”

Kiara sensed his resolve weakening, even though he had taken to avoiding her eyes. “Look, I know it was shitty of me to tell her without asking you first, but I’d really appreciate it.”

He played with the metal straw, dipping it in and out of the cup. “Just one question. Why would you tell her it’s a date date? I’m literally the worst wedding date possible.”

“You were just… The first person I thought of.” His eyes searched hers, so she quickly added, “The most convenient.”

JJ stared at her for a long moment. “Hmm.”

She felt the need to continue explaining, even though there really wasn’t much else to say. Anything to make him stop looking at her like that, like there was a puzzle to solve. JJ rarely ever got like that, but she knew he could be one of the most observant of her friends when given the chance.

Kiara crossed her arms, her grilled chicken sandwich not even half eaten yet. “And I only said it’s a date date so she’d stop riding my ass about the single groomsmen.”

JJ gave an exaggerated stretch, and she totally didn’t let her attention linger on the way his biceps bulged. His mouth fell into a lazy smirk. “Does this mean I get to mack you in front of your family? Because this is sounding more and more interesting by the minute.”

“No Pogue on Pogue macking,” she repeated, almost on autopilot.

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because everyone follows that rule.”

Her blush worsened. Yes, she’d kissed two of her best guy friends, and she’d thought once or twice about kissing the third. She so loved to be reminded

“So will you do it or not?” Kiara urged, her hand gripping his arm. She may or may not have batted her eyelashes. Even if JJ didn’t think of her romantically, he certainly thought of her as sexually appealing, and she wasn’t above using it to her advantage in this case. “Literally all I need you to do is stand there and introduce yourself as my date. Maybe hold my hand if we want to get crazy.”

He lasted a total of ten more seconds before caving, with a dramatic sigh. “Fine.”

“Thank _God_ ,” she breathed, face splitting into a smile. She wanted to hug him, but her lap was full of her dinner. She had to settle for throwing her free arm over his shoulder and pulling him in to plant a quick kiss on the smooth skin of his cheek. “You’re the best.”

“Yeah, I know,” JJ muttered. If she didn’t know better, she would’ve thought his cheeks looked a little pink. “So, just as a head’s up, does your mom think I’m your boyfriend now, or something? Because if I see her at Walmart and she asks I don’t want to wreck shit.”

Kiara winced. “Not really. I think. Just that we kind of have a thing for each other. Just act normal.”

He threw her a look, one eyebrow raised. “Your mom and me normally try to ignore each other, in case you haven’t noticed.”

JJ had a point. Kiara thought back to how her mom had taken the news, and she genuinely doubted she’d ever approach JJ. If anything, she’d try to hedge more details out of Kiara.

“I don’t think she’ll say anything.”

“I really hope not.” He sat his shake down to rake the remaining bits of food onto his fork, and Kiara took the opportunity to snatch it for a long sip of her own. He mock scowled at her. “Hey, I’ll have you know—“

“I’ll have you know you wouldn’t have one without me.” She took a second sip for good measure.

They sat in relatively comfortable silence for a few seconds, but she could tell JJ’s mind was whirring away. She preferred not to dwell on what all he must be thinking.

“So, like,” he began, and Kiara turned towards him to show she was listening. “Do we break up after the wedding? How does that work?”

Shit. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead. Her main priorities had just been one, breaking the news to JJ, and two, getting JJ to agree.

He was still talking. “Because as the victim here, I think it’s only fair that I’m the one doing the dumping.”

“We can mutually decide to just be friends, because we’re above that. Duh,” she said. Kiara honestly didn’t give a shit what anyone on the island or elsewhere said about either of them, but she also wasn’t particularly in the mood for people gossiping about her and JJ having a fling go up in flames. They already said plenty.

The Kook Academy hadn’t been kind to a girl who made a habit of hanging around three poor, attractive guys. It was heteronormative and misogynistic, but she’d have had to be deaf, dumb, and blind to avoid the rumors about her and the Pogues. Ridiculous things, like how she fucked all three in one night, or the opposite; that even they wouldn’t touch her.

Thankfully, she’d learned to wear her Pogue identity as armor years ago.

JJ usually tried to do the same, but he let out a self-deprecating laugh next to her. “But I guess they’d probably believe it more if you dumped me, huh?”

It came out easily, as something he hardly had to think about before saying.

Kiara’s first, natural response was to glare at him. “No, I don’t think so,” she said, a little more snappish than perhaps she intended. She tried to temper her voice before continuing. “They know we mean a lot to each other. You know?”

“Sure.”

He was stabbing absentmindedly at his empty plate, so Kiara stood, placing her own meal to the side. “What’s wrong with this car, anyway? I bet I can fix it faster than you.”

That snapped JJ out of it. “ _Okay_ , so can not.”

* * *

One month into the semester for the college Pogues, Kiara selected a weekend they were both off and drug JJ to Chapel Hill.

Her mom had ordered her to find something new to wear to Charlotte’s wedding, Chapel Hill had some cute boutiques, and it had already been too long since she had seen John B and Sarah. JJ got particularly antsy when he was separated from John B for too long, so it was a good deal all around.

The boys promptly holed up in John B and Sarah’s apartment for “bro time.” According to Sarah, it was PlayStation and beer, for certain. It was probably for the best, because the last thing she wanted was them sniffing around and nagging while she tried on dresses.

Contrary to what the boys may believe, Kiara didn’t hate shopping. She hated spending $300 on a piece of fabric that probably harmed endangered animals and plants in its making, or those that exploited nonexistent child labor laws in other countries, but that was another matter.

It was times like these when Kiara was reminded how grateful she was to have Sarah back in her life. She’d never clicked easily with other girls, but she’d found the sister she never had in Sarah.

Kiara ran her fingers down the hem of a lavender dress, and Sarah shook her head. She pulled a maroon one off the rack instead. “It’s gonna be October, Kie.”

“Good point,” Kiara had to acknowledge. She could enjoy getting new things, and subtly putting items together that made the other shine, but Sarah thrived on it.

Sarah bypassed a few particularly booby numbers, but then her eyes flickered over Kiara mischievously. Her hand hovered on a backless black dress. “Have you stalked the groomsmen on Instagram yet?”

“I doubt they’re my type,” Kiara said, pushing Sarah on down the isle. The dress was pretty, but she’d rather be ignored as much as possible at the wedding than become the scandal of the week. Annoying her parents a bit was a bonus, but being whispered about all night wasn’t

“You’re probably right, but it never hurts to check.” Sarah hummed, plucking another dress off the rack. Their collection was growing at an alarming pace.

Kiara hesitated. She pretended to look at the price on a dress, like she was more interested in that than what she was saying. “I’m taking JJ, anyway.”

Sarah halted in her tracks, gaze darting over Kiara’s face. Something she saw there must’ve set her off, because the dresses she was holding nearly clattered to the floor. “What?” she cried, loudly enough that some of the other customers shot them annoyed looks. “And you didn’t _tell_ me?”

“Oh my God, it’s not a big deal,” Kiara said, but it came out weak in the face of Sarah’s blinding smile.

“I’ve been waiting ages for this to happen,” she raved. Her hands flicked through the array of dresses with renewed vigor. The colors flew by more quickly than Kiara’s waning control of her life. “I thought for sure it would with you two all cozied up by yourselves for the year.”

“What? No. It’s not like that. He’s only doing it as a favor for me.”

Sarah paused, brow furrowed. “What? What do you mean?”

“My mom has suddenly decided I’m going to end up alone with seventy cats if I don’t have a date to this wedding.” Kiara scoffed. “Not that if I did there would be anything wrong with it.”

“And your first thought was to bring JJ to your fancy wedding?” Sarah didn’t even try to hide her amusement. She flicked a lock of honey blonde out of her eyes and yanked out a dress with a high slit. “I bet he’d like this.”

Kiara shoved it back onto the display, glowering. “I don’t care what he likes. I’m the one wearing it.”

“You, for one,” Sarah muttered, under her breath in a way that was still meant for Kiara to hear. She pretended she didn’t.

Sarah pushed Kiara into the dressing room, thankfully dropping the JJ debacle for the moment. She tugged on dress after dress, vetoing ones she felt like she’d be pulling on all night or that would make the evening more uncomfortable that it already was. Sarah had her spin around in others or stand in a certain light before shaking her head.

Ultimately, Kiara chose a pine colored gown that synched in at the waste and flowed around her ankles. The neckline dipped down in a way that was flattering without having everything hanging out, and they both deemed it family appropriate.

Once that was done, they ended up at a cute little café nearby, where they ordered iced coffees and fancy little sandwiches. It was the type of place the boys would hate, but Kiara got a little guilty pleasure out of every now and then.

“Do you have something for the rehearsal dinner?” Sarah asked. The dress for the wedding was wrapped up in fancy silver packaging in the free chair next to them, but so far, it was all they had purchased.

“Yeah, I think so.” Kiara paused, reluctant to bring JJ up again, but she knew if she didn’t, Sarah probably would, anyway. “I need to find something for JJ though.”

She didn’t want him to feel like a charity case, but she knew he’d feel even worse if they showed up at the wedding and all the Kooks in attendance judged him all night. And that boy wore shorts all year round. She wasn’t even convinced he owned a decent pair of jeans, much less slacks and button downs.

“Agreed,” Sarah said.

Kiara tried to finish her sandwich in peace, but Sarah kept sneaking smug little looks at her between bites. After spending so much time with three boys who wouldn’t notice emotional nuance if it hit them in the head with a baseball bat, she still wasn’t used to this.

She put down the sandwich. “ _What_?”

“I didn’t say anything.” Sarah took a meaningful sip of her coffee.

“Listen,” Kiara began. The heat rising up the back of her neck didn’t do a lot to steady her nerves. “Just because I told you that _one_ time I had a crush on JJ in like the seventh grade doesn’t mean this wedding thing means anything.”

She had had a crush on him in seventh grade. A painful, butterflies in the stomach crush that had made it really hard to continue life as his tomboyish best friend, especially when the other girls on the island started to take notice of how attractive he was becoming.

It wasn’t like that anymore. Not really. Everything was different when she came back to the boys after her Kook year, suddenly equipped with boobs and a fashion sense and a new appreciation for just how much she needed each and every one of the Pogues in her life. She didn’t have room for stupid little crushes getting in the way of that.

He made his empty flirty comments because he found her new look physically appealing, and she rolled her eyes and pretended to be annoyed. That was that.

She hadn’t even meant to tell Sarah. It had come out one night, when they were having some of their first beers and playing a game of truth, as Sarah liked to call it. She’d been missing the boys especially hard that day and it had just come out when Sarah asked her who she liked.

Sarah leaned back in her chair, giving her a ‘no shit’ smile. “Yeah? Well just because I’ve been pretending I believe you were over it since the ninth grade doesn’t mean I really do.”

Kiara tried and failed to muster a glare. She took a breath, then explained, “Look. I made the no Pogue on Pogue macking rule for a reason.”

The Pogues were her lifeline. In no world, no universe, was anything worth risking a single one of those relationships for her. She crossed her arms over her chest, gazing down into the remainder of her coffee.

“Kie,” Sarah said, and her voice was less teasing. More gentle. “Sorry. I’m just trying to help. You know I love all of you. If you really don’t want there to be anything, then that’s fine. But if you do, would that be so bad?”

She wasn’t sure how to answer that. What if she did something stupid, like let herself actually spend time thinking about the way she felt? And that made her do something even dumber, like letting JJ know? He would never avoid her because of her feelings on purpose, but if something happened, and he somehow got hurt? She didn’t know if he had the capacity to bounce back like John B or Pope.

It wasn’t worth the risk.

“You don’t have to answer now,” Sarah said, standing. “But if you need someone to call when you accept how badly you want to mack his face off, then I’m here. Now let’s go prevent a fashion disaster.”

The scowl had managed to fall off Kiara’s face by the time they were in the thick of shopping for JJ. They found him a simple suit to wear to the wedding; something that didn’t match her dress (Just his bowtie, because anything more was tacky), but would look nice next to her if someone were to take a picture.

For the rehearsal dinner, Kiara grabbed him a dark blue button down.

“That color brings out his eyes,” Sarah said, smiling knowingly. Kiara didn’t even try to argue, because yes, okay, that was why she picked the shirt. Sue her.

They picked up a pizza and a box of Cinnabons on the way to the apartment, and they were greeted by John B’s eager eyes at the door. “What would I do without you?” he asked, pulling Sarah in for a mildly nauseating kiss. Kiara met JJ’s eyes over their shoulders, and he mimed gagging.

A little while later, when Sarah and John B were occupied canoodling over the pizza, she dropped JJ’s bags into his lap. He raised his eyebrows. “What do I look like, a fucking bag drop?”

“Your clothes for the wedding.”

His hands paused their digging. “Ah. Guess I’ll be looking spiffy, after all.”

“Very.”

She surveyed him, hoping he wasn’t taking the clothes as too much of a handout. He didn’t seem too bothered, but there was a little smear of icing left at the corner of his lip from his Cinnabon that she couldn’t help noticing. Kiara’s eyes lingered on it a little too long, and she cursed Sarah. It was her fault, for getting into her head.

Before he could notice her awkward pause, John B had leapt back onto the couch, forcing JJ to scoot closer so his thigh was pressed against hers. John B had a PlayStation controller in hand, and half a slice of pizza was hanging out of his mouth. “Alright, ready to get your ass kicked again? Kie, feel free to join.”

“You call what you were doing kicking my ass?” JJ snipped, knocking John B in the shoulder.

Mario Kart was paused on the screen. Kiara debated only momentarily before saying, “Fine. I call Yoshi.”

John B, however, had noticed the bags at the foot of the couch, so the game didn’t immediately get started. He kicked at them. “What’s all this mess?”

“Nothing,” JJ muttered, a the same time that Kiara said, “JJ’s.”

“Are these _Kook clothes_?”

Kiara glanced at JJ, a mixture of apologetic and nervous. They hadn’t really discussed telling the rest of the Pogues, and she felt a little bad that the boys would probably rag him mercilessly.

She found JJ already watching her, waiting to go along with whatever she was going to say. She cleared her throat. “He’s coming with me to my cousin’s wedding.”

Her aim was casual, and it must’ve worked, because JJ’s arm relaxed next to hers.

John B’s eyebrows screwed up, and he let out a snort. “JJ at a wedding? Holy shit. How’d you sucker him into doing that?”

Sarah, who was still sat in the kitchen, made a show of rolling her eyes where only Kiara could see. Personally, Kiara felt a little relieved John B wasn’t as observant as his girlfriend.

“I just happen to be a great friend,” JJ argued, but it did nothing to silence John B’s sniggering.

Kiara patted his knee. “Yes, you are.”

His hand fell on hers for half a second, not quite squeezing it, but definitely giving it a meaningful brush. She didn’t have to look up to know Sarah was smirking.

* * *

Kiara managed to get JJ and their bags (She double checked his, just to make sure he didn’t forget anything important like his entire suit) packed into the car by 11:00 the Friday before the wedding. The ceremony was scheduled at a ritzy hotel in Raleigh, and her parents had headed out hours earlier.

There had been an ongoing argument for weeks about whether or not they would all ride together, but Kiara refused to budge. JJ would probably claw his way out of the car with his fingernails if he had to spend five hours in such a tiny space with just her and her parents, and he was already doing her enough of a favor as it was.

Her mom was compensating by sending her texts every ten minutes, asking why her little dot on Find My Friends hadn’t moved yet.

_Leaving now,_ she typed.

The car ride with JJ was relatively predictable. He put his boots up on the dash, and tapped his fingers against the window in a near constant rhythm. They argued back and forth about the playlist, which was more habit than true disagreement. She also had to program her GPS app to speak directly to her after JJ said something along to lines of, “Ooops, you were supposed to turn back there” one too many times.

He gestured eagerly at a turn off for a McDonald’s an hour in. “I don’t know about you, but I could totally demolish a Quarter Pounder right now.”

“We’ve just gotten started,” Kie argued, although her back was already getting stiff from clutching the steering wheel too tightly. She wasn’t horrible at driving on the interstate, but it was a far cry from the quiet roads of the Outer Banks she’d learned to drive on.

“I have to _pee.”_

“What are you, five?”

A few minutes later, JJ said, for the thousandth time, “Raleigh. Who the hell does that? Like, if I’m going to drive across the country, I’m going to elope in Vegas. I’m just saying. At least make it interesting.”

He’d nearly shat a brick when she’d informed him the wedding wasn’t going to be a one and done hour or two. It was pretty much the entire weekend, once the traveling and rehearsal dinner was factored in. Since she was family, she was basically required to attend both, or whatever.

“Brad does have a job there, so they won’t be living in the OBX,” Kiara explained. She shrugged. “But really they just want to have a bigger and better wedding than the last. Such a waste of money.”

Maybe it was because her dad wasn’t raised a Kook, and he’d brought his influence into their home, but Kiara truly didn’t think that way. If she ever did get married, she’d be more than satisfied with a small ceremony on the beach.

JJ glanced up from scrolling through his phone. He waved his pointer finger through the air, like he was announcing something very important. “I’ve never met a single guy I liked name Brad. Not a single one.”

“Have you ever met a guy named Brad?”

“Yes, yes, I have. And they were terrible.”

Kiara lasted another hour before pulling into a McDonald’s, because she was dying for a stretch. She also really had to pee, but she wasn’t about to admit that.

JJ ordered a Quarter Pounder with a large fry and coke, and Kiara stared dubiously at his oversized drink. “We’re not stopping for another bathroom break.”

“That’s why you keep the cup, Kie.”

The cashier glanced up from his register at that, and Kiara stomped hard on JJ’s toes. He didn’t budge, probably hardly feeling it through his old boots, but she could see that his lips were turned up in amusement.

Kiara pasted on a smile. “Can I get a McWrap chicken meal?”

JJ laid down enough bills to cover her when she went to pay. She looked up at him, questioning, and he said, “I’d be a terrible fake boyfriend if I didn’t buy your lunch.”

He was smirking at her, and she knew he was only trying to push her buttons.

“It’s pretty sexist to assume the man should pay.” Kiara sniffed, once they were at their table. “And it’s not fake boyfriend. Fake interest. You’re getting ahead of yourself.”

She did not let him bring the cup. She marched him to the men’s room, demanding he go again before they left, and retreated to the parking lot to get the car running. She sent her mom a quick update on their progress, even though she had no clue why she was freaking out so much. They had four hours before they were due at the rehearsal dinner, and the GPS was putting them at their destination in half that.

It was almost a surprise that Anna wasn’t standing in the hotel lobby waiting on them when they ambled inside, JJ with his backpack slung across his shoulders and her dragging her suitcase.

JJ had his head tilted back, gazing at the chandelier above them, when the receptionist called them over.

Kiara bit her lip as she watched the woman search up her name on the computer. The rooms had been another bit of a sticking point for her and her parents. Naturally, they’d recoiled at the idea of their little girl sharing a room with her wedding date, but she’d resolutely reminded them that she was nineteen. A weight had lifted off her shoulders when they backed down, because she was sure both of them would need that door between them and the other wedding guests. More than once, if she had to wager.

And with their own room, they’d have more space to spread out from each other if the whole charade became too much for them.

“Here you go,” the lady said, and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. “621. Enjoy your stay!”

JJ’s fingers skimmed over all the buttons in the elevator. Their spotless reflections stared back at them; him fighting a deliquent grin, and her watching in the background a little like a tired mother.

“JJ…”

“Imagine if I pushed all these buttons and pissed all the rich people waiting on the elevator off.”

“At least wait until checkout.”

She yanked him out by his shirtsleeve. They took one wrong turn on the way to their room, heading down a row for evens instead of odds (Which was just stupid organization in Kiara’s opinion, but whatever), but shortly thereafter they were standing in front of 621. She stuck her cardkey in, and JJ jiggled the handle too quickly. The light flashed red.

“ _JJ_.” She smacked his hand away. A green dot winked at her, and she pushed the door open. A waft of that signature clean hotel room scent greeted them.

JJ immediately collapsed spread eagle on the bed closest to the door, sinking into the comforter. His boots brushed across the bottom of it, and Kiara wrinkled her nose, shoving them so they were hanging off the end instead.

“I give it seven out of ten. Could use more pillows,” JJ said, eyes closed. His arms were crossed behind his head, and Kiara pointedly avoided looking at the little sliver of exposed skin where his t-shirt had ridden up.

She turned her attention to the room instead. It was simple, but expensively decorated. There were two queen sized beds and a mini fridge, and the carpet was plush beneath her feet.

JJ peeled one eye open. “Is this the part where you take advantage of me all alone in this hotel room? Try not to be bummed that there are two beds.”

“In your dreams.”

Kiara peered into the bathroom, and was pleased to see it was spacious. There was a wide mirror, which was great, because she’d have to start getting ready pretty much right away if they wanted to be on time to the rehearsal dinner.

“The shower is nice,” she said, almost to herself.

“I was thinking you’d started to smell...”

Kiara flung one of those cheap little hotel dish soaps at JJ’s head, and he dodged, dissolving into laughter.

She opted not to shower before the rehearsal dinner, because she didn’t have time for her hair to air dry. Instead, she settled for a quick face wash and brushing her teeth.

JJ had moved to lean in the doorframe. She met his eyes in the mirror, and his lips tilted up in one corner. “What’s the point of brushing your teeth? Aren’t we going to a dinner?”

Kiara spit into the sink, trying really hard not to be self conscious of the fact that he was watching her do it. “Some of us like to feel fresh, JJ. Now, get out.”

She braced her hands against his back and shoved him out, slamming the door behind him. A second too late, she realized her outfit was still laid out on her bed, and her cheeks reddened with embarrassment when she had to scurry back into the bedroom to grab it.

His laughter rang through the door when she slammed it for a second time.

Kiara had selected a pinstripe jumpsuit instead of a dress for the rehearsal dinner. It was more comfortable, and in her opinion, just as formal as a dress. Although she normally went barefaced, she elected to swipe on a bit of eye shadow and mascara. Her mom would make passive aggressive comments if she didn’t, and hey; sometimes it made her feel kind of nice.

She swooped her hair back into a tastefully messy bun, and her look was complete.

To her surprise, JJ was already dressed when she returned to the bedroom. He was attempting to make his hair lie in some semblance of neatness in the tiny mirror. His eyes flickered up briefly when she walked in, then flicked back to her a second time.

After a second of hesitance she may have imagined, he let out a low whistle. “Not bad.”

“I guess you’ll do.”

Most of the time, she was so accustomed to him that she hardly noticed, but sometimes in moments like these it still caught her off guard how handsome JJ was. Just as she had expected, the dark blue shirt she’d picked set off his eyes, and the fabric hung nicely off his broad shoulders. Trying to hide her smile, Kiara snapped a quick photo of him combing at his hair in the mirror.

_We did good_ , she sent to Sarah.

“Your hair looks fine,” she called. “I don’t think you have Touron girls to worry about tonight. Probably wouldn’t look too good if you did. Whole ass fake date and all.”

JJ gave his hair one final sweep, muttering under his breath.

“What was that?”

He tugged at his collar, not meeting her gaze. “Don’t wanna show up looking like you drug me out from under some rock.”

It took her a beat to realize what he was saying was JJ speak for _I don’t want to embarrass you_. A big fat _something_ swirled in her gut at that.

“JJ, Sarah Cameron herself helped me pick that outfit. I promise you look good.” She debated for a moment, then added, “But I swear if you use it to pick up my Kook cousin’s friends while we’re on a fake date, I _will_ be pissed.”

He snorted. “Yes m’am.”

Her phone chose that instant to buzz. A text from her mom.

**Mom [5:55 pm]:** _Where are you? We’ve got your seats._

“My mom is freaking.” Kiara slid on her shoes. “Let’s go get this over with. The sooner we get there the sooner we can leave.”

“Is there booze at this part, too?”

“God, I hope so.”

The rehearsal dinner wasn’t in the main ballroom where the reception was scheduled. Instead, it was on the roof, like some sort of garden party set up. She wasn’t sure which one JJ would hate more, but his image beside her in the elevator was a stunning contrast to earlier.

Gone was the grinning boy in a faded t-shirt and shorts. Instead, he was sleek and stiff, with his jaw set like he was being delivered to his execution. She was hit with an instant wave of guilt.

Hesitantly, she reached out to touch to his arm. “Hey. Thank you for coming. Seriously.”

JJ’s eyes roved over her, bluer than twin seas. Either her words or something he saw in her face made his throat bob. He looked away before she could analyze it, rubbing at his nose.

Kiara half expected him to make a joke or snide comment out of it, but instead he said, “Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

“We’ll go back to the room early if you want. Social protocol be damned, I don’t care.”

“Yeah, I got it, Kie. You don’t have to hold my hand,” JJ said, already sounding more like himself. He gave her a once over and a slow, only slightly forced grin. “But I mean you can if you want.”

The elevator dinged, and Kiara shrugged, pretending to consider. Her hand slid to latch onto his elbow. He followed the movement, blinking silently at where her fingers rested. “Well. We are supposed to like each other, right?”

As soon as the doors opened, Kiara was reminded why she hated these types of rich parties. People milled about, dressed in way too expensive clothes and no doubt trying to one up one another on their latest purchases. Several of them glanced over nosily at their arrival.

“Shit,” JJ muttered.

“Shit’s right.”

Kiara had hardly picked out anyone she knew before Anna descended on them like a hurricane. “Kiara! There you are.”

Her heels clicked on the cement, and her hair was done up in an elaborate knot. Her eyes darted between the two of them, questioning and a little bit nervous. Kiara didn’t miss the way she lingered on where her arm was still in JJ’s.

“Hello JJ,” Anna emphasized.

He coughed, and Kiara’s grip on him tightened. “Mrs. C.”

Anna’s practiced smile remained, promising a barrage of hell in Kiara’s future. She wondered if it was too late to make a run for it. “Well. Go and say hello to the bride. Your dad and I will be waiting by the table.”

It didn’t take Kiara long to spot Charlotte. Her cousin was dolled up, hair perfectly curled and a wine glass in hand. A crowd of other women surrounded her, letting out delicate little laughs and discussing the way too expensive honeymoon in Charlotte’s future.

A dramatized gasp escaped Charlotte when she caught site of Kiara. “Kiara! You look so beautiful.”

Her arms wrapped around Kiara’s neck in a quick, perfect hostess hug. The two of them had never been close, but her smile seemed real enough that either she was genuinely happy to see Kiara, or she was working out some pre wedding jitters. Probably some combination of both.

“Congrats,” Kiara said, trying to sound happy.

“Thank you. Thanks for coming.” Charlotte’s attention turned to JJ, who had his hands fiddling in his pockets, gazing off at the skyline. Without Kiara to anchor him, he looked the definition of a fish out of water. “Who’s this?”

“This is my—“ Best friend? Boyfriend? Pretend date? “JJ. My date.”

JJ nodded, producing a grin that came out more a grimace to her trained eye. Charlotte shot Kiara an impressed look, mouthing, “He’s hot”. Kiara was positive JJ saw her, which was reaffirmed by the cheeky little twitch of his mouth as he pretended to go back to staring off at the horizon.

“Well, help yourselves. Brad’s family brought some great food.”

Charlotte turned to greet the next guest, and Kiara realized they wouldn’t be able to avoid her parents much longer. She gestured towards the buffet. “Food?”

“Duh.” JJ lowered his voice. “I’m thinking we better get a move on before the bride leaves the groom for me.”

“Yeah right.”

Kiara shoved him, laughing, and headed for the buffet line at a near breakneck speed. JJ skittered and hardly managed to avoid flying into a potted plant before taking off after her. Several people turned in place to watch them, gaping.

The food selections included pretty much every pasta dish she could think of. JJ piled a little of every kind onto his plate, while she stuck to a couple favorites and a slice of buttery garlic bread.

Her parents were sat at a table relatively in the center of everything, laughing with a few of Kiara’s distant cousins. Two chairs were conspicuously empty beside them, and her mom was not so secretly monitoring their progress at the buffet.

“Dude, your mom is burning holes into my back,” JJ muttered. His hands itched towards his hair, but he caught himself, adjusting his collar instead. “Serious laser beams.”

“I apologize in advance for whatever comes out of her mouth,” she whispered back. As they approached the table, JJ trailing after her, she said, “Food looks good.”

“Brad has Italian in his family,” Anna said, even though Kiara somehow very much doubted that.

She pulled her chair more closely to JJ’s than she normally would, so their knees bumped under the table. She noticed him glancing at her out of the corner of her eye, but she was focused on her parents.

Anna kept sneaking looks at them, and Mike was expressionless, more silent than usual.

They exchanged empty pleasantries, about traffic and the taste of the pasta. A few of her cousins were curious about the discovery of the Royal Merchant, but seemed disappointed when they realized Kiara wasn’t technically a millionaire just yet. Her dad, she noticed, curled up his lip when sampling the champagne her mom pushed towards him.

JJ was quiet, as she predicted. Whenever she sensed him drawing in on himself too much, she made a point to knock her knee against his. A flash of relief hit her every time his knocked back. She didn’t care if he talked much with her parents, but if she could make him only slightly less miserable, it made her feel better.

Remembering her promise of free booze, Kiara reached for the champagne bottle in the center of the table. On cue, her mom hissed, “Kiara!”

“Just a glass, Mom. It’s a wedding.”

Anna took a breath. Aware of the rest of the company at the table, she said, “You’re nineteen.”

“Honey.” Mike put a hand on her arm. He nodded towards Kiara and JJ. “A glass won’t kill them.”

JJ sniffed his experimentally, once Kiara filled both their glasses. “Smells fancy.”

She clinked her glass with his, and took a sip. It was bubbly, with a smooth taste, and she thought she might prefer it to beer if she had time to get used to it. Beside her, JJ drained all of his in one gulp, and Anna’s fork clanged against her plate where she nearly dropped it.

“Hmm.” JJ stared down at the empty glass, like he was debating something. Kiara was sure there would’ve been plenty of commentary had it been just the two of them.

They were interrupted by a hand falling on Kiara’s shoulder.

“Kiara! I haven’t seen you in forever, honey.” Her grandmother was smiling down at her, in that reserved way of hers. She looked like Anna through the eyes and nose, just older.

Kiara had never been quite as close to her maternal grandmother as her cousins were, because it was no secret that she wasn’t a huge fan of Kiara’s dad in the early years of her parents’ marriage. She’d hated the idea of her daughter marrying a workingman from the Cut, and she’d hated it even more when the Wreck’s success had ultimately proven her so, so wrong.

Still, Kiara smiled back. “Hey, Grandma.”

“Who’s this young man?”

“Uh, this is JJ.” Kiara brushed a hand across his back, and she gave him a fond smile she didn’t have to force. JJ nodded at her grandmother, his mouth full of pasta.

“Well, he’s got a good taste in girlfriends, doesn’t he?” Kiara’s eyes met JJ’s, a little frenzied, but her grandmother was already walking off, probably to gossip with her Aunt Lisa. “I’ll see you all tomorrow. Anna. Mike.”

Anna watched her mother go, and then she turned back around, zeroing in on Kiara and JJ. Apparently, her curiosity finally won the long war it had been waging with her patience, because she set down her fork and asked, “So. How long _has_ this been going on, exactly?”

“Mom,” Kiara hissed, and even her dad was throwing Anna disapproving looks. JJ’s back stiffened under her fingers.

“What?” Anna threw up her hands. “Excuse me for wondering how someone who my daughter has been best friends with for years suddenly became her boyfriend. I’m just curious, honey.”

Her heart stuttered over the word boyfriend. There it was again. An official label, presented in front of family. This was going to be harder and harder to get out of if they weren’t careful.

“Mom, I told you it’s not—“

“No, no, Kie, it’s fine,” JJ spoke up, to her absolute shock. His blank, charming smile slid onto his face. The smile he always used when he when he was either hoping to get laid, or when he was about to tell a big one and get away with it. “You see, I sort of always had a thing for Kiara, you know? Who wouldn’t? But I’m a little shy—“

Kiara was staring at him in half dread, half amazement as he spun his story, but she had to physically bite back her snort at the word shy. As _if_.

Sensing her reaction, his knee gave a particularly vicious smack against hers under the table. He played off the movement as nervous jitters, scooting forward in his seat. “ _I’m a little shy_ and it took me a while to make my move. Didn’t wanna risk scaring off my best friend, you know?”

He lifted up his arm to slink around her shoulders, and suddenly Kiara didn’t find it so funny anymore. Her stomach twisted, painfully.

His story sounded a little too familiar for comfort.

“That’s… That’s very sweet, JJ,” Anna was saying, and Kiara was convinced she had entered some sort of parallel universe. She forced a smile. After all, if this was the guy she liked, really saying this about her, shouldn’t she be happy?

“Can you lay off now, please?” she begged, more for her benefit JJ’s. His arm was still around her shoulders, warm and too comfy for her liking.

“Yes,” Mike cut in, cutting his eyes at his wife. “We can talk about it later.”

* * *

“Pretty sure your dad is planning to cut me open. Serve me on the spot.” JJ said all this through mouthful of toothpaste, while Kiara sat cross-legged on her bed. She’d already changed into her sleep shorts and tank top.

“He is not,” Kiara called back. He raised his brows at her in the bathroom mirror. “Maybe a little.”

“Still think you shouldn’t be the one to dump me?” His voice was laced with an odd undertone, and she glared at him. He’d been in a weird mood all night. Jittery, but not quite as closed off as she’d worried he’d come out of the evening as. She considered it a relative success.

And not a single groomsman shoved her way! Whatever they were doing, her mom seemed to buy it.

“Not happening.”

“I’m showering now. Try not to bust down the door while I’m in the nude.”

Kiara gave a dramatic roll of her eyes to be sure he saw, but then she heard the water flick on. It stirred up a few images she’d rather not be having, particularly with JJ right there on the other side of the wall.

Looking for anything to keep herself busy, she checked her phone.

There was a Snapchat to the Pogues group chat from Pope detailing a massive pile of textbooks, and another close up from John B asking if JJ was still alive. From Sarah, there was a small thread of private messages.

**Sarah [5:57 pm]:** _He looks GREAT!_

**Sarah (6:30 pm]:** _Take a picture together_

**Sarah [7:42 pm]:** _You two macked yet?_

_Don’t you have a boyfriend to be entertained by?_ Kiara typed, and then pressed send.

It wasn’t much longer that JJ meandered out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair. His sweatpants were slung low on his hips, and Kiara quickly diverted her attention back to her phone. She and JJ had spent the night in the same room dozens of times, and it shouldn’t be weird. But if she let herself dwell on it too much, she found her body buzzing with a type of tension she decidedly did not want to acknowledge.

His hands hesitated over the bathroom light, and after a second, he pulled the door almost shut so that the light bled through a crack.

Kiara wasn’t surprised. JJ had never liked to sleep in the pitch black. It had been the topic of heated debate at the Chateau many a time. John B could sleep under any conditions, but Pope liked it to be dark and silent, so he always bitched when JJ left a light on.

Pope had gone notably lenient on the topic after the hunt for the gold, when JJ had gone to pieces in her arms and just how horrible his home life had been became clear.

JJ’s voice broke the silence. “You getting your weird ocean soundtrack ready?”

Kiara was, in fact, flicking through her app for sleep sounds. When she was a kid, she’d often fallen asleep to the hum of her TV, and now, she preferred to doze off to waves lapping or the chirps of exotic birds.

“Sorry. Is it going to drive you crazy?”

“Nah. It’s better than listening to Pope talk in his sleep. Or John B sawing logs.”

“Ocean it is,” she said, smiling as he plopped down on his own bed.

She watched him shake his head in amusement while opening the snaps from Pope and John B. He took a goofy selfie to send back, and she realized she’d been smiling a little too long. It dropped off her face.

“So,” Kiara said, and she wasn’t sure why she was hesitating. “I’m pretty sure you’ve convinced my mom you’re super into me or whatever.”

JJ’s thumb paused its scrolling through his phone, but he didn’t look up. He flicked his damp hair out of his eyes. “Oh, yeah. You think?”

“Yeah. She might even be a little disappointed when I tell her we’ve decided to stay friends.”

“Doubt that,” he said, under his breath. She pursed her lips at him, but he was still fixated on his phone. Or at least, pretending to be fixated. “Sorry. Maybe went a little too hard on that.”

His statement stirred a small, welling sense of disappointment within her. JJ had always been too good a liar for his own good. He’d lay everything on the table one second, then turn around and lie his ass off the next without hesitation. It was one of his greatest talents.

She just wished some part of her wasn’t longing for his latest tale to be true.

“S’okay,” Kiara said. It came out just as a yawn forced itself way out of her throat. Driving for half the day had really worn her out, and it was quickly catching up with her.

“Looks like it’s past someone’s bedtime,” JJ mused. He still looked wide-awake.

She slid into a laying position, tugging the covers to her chin. “Shut up. You can drive next time.”

Kie turned over, so her back was facing JJ’s side of the room. Even though he was feet away, it was somehow both comforting and nerve-wracking to know he was there. “Night,” she said, chin pressed into the comforter.

He took a beat to respond, and she got the sensation that he was gazing at her across the dim lighting. She was already nodding off to the sound of lapping waves when she caught him say, “Night, Kie.”

* * *

They overslept the next morning, which allowed them to bypass an awkward breakfast with her parents.

Instead, they grabbed cold biscuits from the hotel’s selection of complementary offerings and headed for one of the city’s parks. They’d have to come back relatively early to be ready for the ceremony at five, but Kiara had no intention of sitting in the dark hotel room all day to be hounded by distant family members, a sentiment she was sure JJ greatly appreciated.

In the open air with just her, JJ was all energy again.

She dared him to climb the biggest tree she saw, which turned out to be a mistake, because JJ never turned down a dare. It didn’t have the winding branches of the coastal trees outside John B’s house, but he scrambled up it anyway, her praying he didn’t somehow fall and twist his ankle. A trip to the ER wasn’t in her hopes for the weekend.

He gave her a thumbs up from a high branch, and she snapped a quick picture to send to the boys.

“Okay, please don’t kill yourself while I’m on watch,” Kiara urged, having had enough.

JJ swung down, far too confidently for her taste. He landed on his feet, lithe, like a cat. “See, look, arm candy all in one piece.”

“Funny. I thought arm candy was supposed to be quiet.”

When they spotted the koi pond, JJ was all laughter again. He jogged over to it, fingers sticking in the water. “My future, Kie. You’re looking at it. Take another pic.”

“Oh my God,” she complained, but grabbed a picture of him in mid sentence. He scowled when he noticed she’d caught his mouth open, and she responded by taking a second one with her in the frame and him looking sulky in the background.

JJ became more withdrawn again when she informed him it was time they went to get ready for the wedding. She wasn’t surprised. He’d seen how stuffy the rehearsal dinner was, and the wedding and reception together were going to be a much longer, more formal ordeal than that.

She nudged him with her elbow as they took the elevator back to their room. “There _will_ be more booze tonight. Especially when all the old people go to bed.”

“Is it too early to start now?” he asked. Kiara scoffed, but didn’t begrudge him a few puffs from the blunt he’d stuffed into the bottom of his bag, as long as he stayed out on the balcony with it while she showered. If she had time, she might’ve even joined him.

She took a little more care with her appearance this time, carefully running her favorite curl cream through her hair and spending more time on her makeup. She ended up pausing halfway through her makeup so JJ could shower, instead retreating to the balcony to send a few texts to the other Pogues while she let her hair dry.

**Sarah [3:48 pm]:** _im just saying, now would be a great time to test the waters_

_Kinda hard to feel like anything is real when you’re putting on a literal act,_ she replied.

JJ emerged from the bathroom, dressed in nothing but flimsy gym shorts. He shuffled around in the closet, where Kiara had made him hang his suit, and she tried not to think about how nice it would feel to drag her fingers down his spine.

“Bathroom’s yours,” he called, oblivious. She shut her phone off and hauled her things back to the mirror, closing the door firmly between them.

Fucking Sarah.

Kiara tugged on her dress last, pulling her arms through the thin straps. She managed to pull the zipper halfway up before it began to stick. She probably could’ve fought it a bit more and gotten it all the way up herself, but a dangerous thought occurred to her.

A voice that sounded a lot like Sarah’s told her it was an excellent idea.

“Hey, JJ,” she called, through the bathroom door, trying not to sound too flushed. She heard him grunt in reply. “Can you come here?”

He appeared, already looking unfairly striking in his dress shirt and pants. He paused in doorway when he saw her, eyes darting from her exposed back, to her face, to the tiles on the bathroom door and back again.

“Woah, okay,” came out of his mouth, and Kiara decided to just go for it. If there was a time to toe the line, this was it.

“Can you help me with my zipper?” she asked, pulling her hair to the side.

Maybe she could’ve managed it, but it would’ve taken a lot of struggling she didn’t care for. _Maybe_ she was just curious to see how he reacted.

“Uh. Yeah. Yes.” His fingers fumbled over the zipper, pausing when they brushed across the bare skin of her back. Kiara had never really seen JJ visibly flustered, but this was as close to it as they came. “There you go. All zipped.”

The skin on skin made her shiver, and an image him taking her not so subtle hint and pushing her against the counter flashed through her mind.

Of course, that’s not what happened. He stepped back almost immediately, the warmth radiating off his body fading with him. There was a reasonable amount of personal space between them again.

“Thanks.” Kiara hoped her flush wasn’t visible. Fuck, she was an idiot. 

“You uh.” He seemed at an uncharacteristic loss for words, but his normal confidence reappeared in a rush with his grin. She noticed it was softer than normal, not hard around the edges or too joking. “You look nice.”

Nice. Not hot.

It took Kiara a moment to find her voice. “You too.”

A heavy pause permeated the air, but he broke it by saying, “I saw you checking me out. Jesus, Kie.”

“Oh, now you’re really dreaming,” she shot back, and it was almost normal. If only he could read her mind.

Kiara fluffed her hair one last time, and then pulled on her shoes. Her mom would have some snide comment ready about how her dress would look better with heels, but she had plenty to worry about without adding aching feet to the list. Flats, it was.

“Shit,” JJ cursed. Kiara looked up to see him struggling with the contraption around his neck in the mirror, frown lines etched into his forehead. He’d pulled on the jacket to his suit, but the bowtie had stopped him in his tracks.

Kiara couldn’t contain her smile. She approached him, nudging his hand aside. “Let me see. You’re hopeless.”

JJ grew abnormally silent, and she felt his gaze on her as she fiddled to see which way the loops went. She was close enough that she was enveloped in his scent, and it was making her head swim. There was no lingering hint of weed, she noted thankfully. He wanted to look good in front of her family, which was a can of worms that didn’t make certain _things_ any easier on her.

He cleared his throat. “Kie, you don’t know what you’re doing either. I can do it—“

She knocked his hands away, stepping closer, and he let out an exaggerated yelp like the drama queen he was. “I’ve got it,” she argued.

After several failed attempts that probably had entirely too much to do with how close they were standing, Kiara had assembled a successful bowtie. She gave it one last adjustment and allowed her fingers to brush over the shoulders of his jacket, chasing away invisible lint.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “This feels so Kook.”

“I know. Disgusting.”

The space the wedding was to be held in was, of course, decorated to perfection. Kiara shuddered to think how much money her aunt had wasted, needlessly, when there were people out there like the boy on her arm who’d sometimes struggled to buy groceries week to week.

They didn’t sit with her parents. Kiara saw Anna craning her neck, shooting her a glare, but she could only shrug. The seats further up front had already been taken, because there was a totally ridiculous amount of people in attendance.

JJ draped an arm over the back of her chair when they sat down, and she peered up at him. He didn’t notice, too busy looking around, face caught somewhere between wonder and disgust. She wasn’t sure if he didn’t really realize what he was doing, or if he was trying to play up the idea of boyfriend, just in case any of her family happened to look over.

After a moment of debate, Kiara leaned further into the crook of his arm. She might as well enjoy it while she could. His hand dangled over the edge of the chair, absentmindedly tugging on a curl, and her heart swelled.

“No way in hell they know this many people,” JJ said. He didn’t appear to be paying much attention to what he was doing to her, but there was a glint in his eye that made her a little suspicious. “Some of them snuck in for something free. I know it. Actually I’m thinkin’ they’ve got the right idea.”

“You’d be surprised. Rich people are busybodies.”

They joined stupid things, like the club her mom worshipped in the Outer Banks, and then acted like it made their fellow members their friends. In Kiara’s experience, it facilitated nothing but shallow relationships with people who’d drive a knife into your back the second you turned it.

She loved her Pogues for every reason she couldn’t stand the Kooks on the island.

The wedding ceremony itself was lovely, even though it wasn’t really Kiara’s taste.

In the midst of the groomsmen leading Charlotte’s twelve bridesmaids down the isle, JJ leaned in towards her. “You’re right. They look like total assholes. Bridesmaids aren’t too shabby, though.”

His breath was hot against the shell of her ear, and she had to repress a shudder. She elbowed him, whispering back, “I don’t know, I think I’m still here with an asshole.”

He let out a little snort, and the woman in front of them (Some distant great aunt that Kiara had only met twice) spun around, glowering at them. Kiara tried to muster an apologetic smile, but beside her, JJ was still struggling to reign in his laughter. She jabbed her elbow into his side again.

When it came time for Charlotte to walk down the isle in her ten thousand dollar gown, Kiara had to tug JJ to his feet. He had never been to a wedding before, so he was clueless about all the customs involved. Kiara caught the same aunt from before casting him scandalized glances, and she had to resist the urge to flip her off.

Despite herself, Kiara felt her eyes sting a little during the vows. Brad had that look of a lot of guys she knew from Figure Eight; clean cut, and a little too pampered for her taste. But Charlotte was glowing, and she thought she saw him wipe at his face once when she reached him at the alter.

She felt JJ watching her, not at all discretely.

He was quiet and far too well behaved for the rest of the ceremony. He stopped twirling her free curl around his finger, and his hand retreated to the back of her chair, where she could still feel its presence without him touching her. It left her oddly disappointed.

He remained wordless even after the bride and groom had made their exit, having been happily declared man and wife. The guests began to file out, slowly.

“What is it?” Kiara challenged, cocking her head at him. She’d figured his mood would take a nosedive as the evening went on, but not before he even had to speak to any relatives.

“You’ve always had a thing for emotional bullshit.” His tone was airy, and too light to be normal.

A frown painted her face. “What—“

“Kiara!” a voice called, and Kiara wasn’t sure if she was disappointed, or a little relieved. Her mom had emerged from the crowd, hands already held up in question. “We tried to save you seats. You hardly got here on time.”

She exchanged a disgruntled glance with JJ, then muttered, “Sorry. But we’re here.”

Anna reached out a hand, running it over the lining of Kiara’s dress. “You do look nice.”

Before Kiara really knew what was happening, Anna’s fingers had wrapped around her wrist, tugging her away. JJ drifted after them, one hand scratching the back of his neck.

Anna shoved Kiara in front of a particularly ornate display of flowers, then ushered JJ to stand beside her. She stepped back and held up her phone, a little too far away from her face, the way parents tended to do. “We have to get some pictures here. Smile!”

There was a moment of doubt where their eyes met, a little lost on what exactly to do, but then they were sliding into a stereotypical couple pose. JJ wrapped his arm around her waist, fingers curling against her hip, and she leaned into him. Her free hand hovered above his heart.

After the first flash, JJ moved back, but Anna was immediately upon him. “No, no! Let’s get a few more.”

By this point, Mike had found his way to them. His face was blank, and Kiara was sure he was every bit as unimpressed as JJ was. “Honey,” he said, but Anna shushed him with a single look.

Anna didn’t stop at the first flower arrangement. She directed them around to stand in front of different decorations and arches. Then there was one taken of just Anna and Kiara, one of Kiara, JJ, Anna, and Mike that they got a passing busboy to take. Once, JJ swept Kiara into his arms at the last minute, and she was fairly sure her mom caught her mouth open in a shriek of laughter.

Anna scrolled through her album. “I guess these are good for now…”

“Shit,” JJ muttered, when both of her parents were out of earshot. He glanced around, eyes wide, as if to see if anyone else thought what had just transpired was as insane as he did. “I think I’ve probably gone blind. Parents are wild.”

Kiara gave him a wry grin, but secretly, she was a little grateful to have some pictures. She doubted she and JJ would come anywhere together like this again, and even though it wasn’t necessarily her first idea of a good time, she’d take what she could get.

She wound her arm through his, probably leaning a little further into him than was strictly necessary. “Chill. You know what time it is?”

“Time to go?” he suggested, a little hopefully. Mostly, she knew he was just trying to annoy her.

She pinched his bicep, lightly, and he yelped. “Cocktail hour.”

“Okay, okay. Maybe I take that back.”

The guests slowly migrated to the reception area, which was the hotel’s grand ballroom. There were round tables around the edges of the room with name cards for later in the evening, but while the wedding party disappeared to take their photos, the focus was on the bar and mini desert area.

“The fuck.” JJ’s mouth was agape, ignoring the whispers that erupted around them from his language. She followed his gaze. Beside the chocolate fountain, there was an elaborate ice sculpture carved out to resemble a bride and groom. “People actually get these?”

“Stupid and expensive, but at least it’s not something to throw away later.” Kiara shrugged. She caught JJ’s attention focusing on the chocolate fountain, and her hand tightened on his arm. She leaned her chin into his shoulder. “Go get me some chocolate and I’ll get the alcohol. Hmm?”

He was wary. “Fine. But don’t leave me for too long or I _will_ make a run for it. I’m not joking.”

Of course, Kiara’s mom found her again while she was waiting in line for the cocktails, squinting at the menu. “Kiara.”

“Mom—“

“I was _just_ going to say I heard the signatures were the way to go,” Anna interrupted, giving her a half smile, and Kiara thought maybe this was her way of trying to have a mother daughter bonding moment.

She knew her mom loved her dearly, she knew because she’d screamed it while beating desperately on car doors and had held her while she sobbed over two friends thought to be lost at sea. She’d just always been closer to her dad. Built from the same stuff as him, the grit of the Cut that just couldn’t seem to leave him no matter how many fancy parties they went to.

Kiara lifted the corners of her lips in reply. “Thanks. We’ll have to try that.”

“As long as you don’t draw any attention to yourselves,” Anna warned, and Kiara nodded.

Her mom probably had no idea just how often they drank. How well they could hold their alcohol, for the most part.

Still, Kiara went with Anna’s suggestion and asked for the two signatures. She figured JJ wouldn’t be too picky, so long as the alcohol content was there.

He was still at the chocolate fountain. Most of the other guests near him appeared to be smiling, which wasn’t necessarily a surprise. When he wasn’t too tense and worried about being surrounded by Kooks, JJ could bring life to any party.

Her mom followed her gaze, and she must’ve read into something in her expression, because she said, “You know I wasn’t too excited about this when you first told me, but… I can tell you two really like each other. I’m just glad you’re happy, honey.”

Kiara’s answering smile was all plastic, stiff and fake. On the inside, she felt sick.

“Yeah,” she heard herself saying. She wished she didn’t have to tell her it was over soon.

But more than that, she realized, she wished they weren’t just friends.

JJ materialized next to her, and her mom floated off to socialize with a wave and a final look of warning that said, “Don’t embarrass me.” Kiara’s stomach churned.

“Okay, I wasn’t sure what we wanted, so I just went with everything,” he said, gesturing with his plate. There were chocolate covered strawberries, marshmallows, and Rice Krispy treats. She thought she could even make out some gummy bears. They were all layered clumsily, with thin chocolate in some areas and chunks in others.

A reluctant smile forced itself to the surface. “Nice. So, we’ve got Mint to Be, or Blushing Bride. Take your pick.”

JJ sipped the Mint to Be, and his nose wrinkled a bit above the glass. Kiara snatched it from his hands, replacing it with Blushing Bride. He eyed the label.

“Hell yeah,” he said, and then tipped back the glass.

Kiara took more time with her drink, choosing to sip, rather than gulp. It was pretty good, with vague hints of lemon under the burn of the alcohol. What she really loved, though, was the chocolate covered strawberries. She popped one in her mouth, savoring the sweetness, and she didn’t think she imagined the way JJ’s eyes followed the movement.

He caught her catching him looking. He flashed a mischievous grin, and then threw a handful of the chocolate covered gummies into his mouth.

“Want some?” He held out the candy, and she wanted to wipe the teasing twist of his lips off with her own.

Kiara wondered if it wouldn’t be worth it. To take the fact that he found her physically appealing and run with it. To kiss him and send them over the edge together, emotional consequences be damned.

A short time of pleasure wouldn’t compensate for her heart in shambles, though.

“No thanks.” She bit into another strawberry instead. He let out a chortle of laughter, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

They had a few more drinks, enough to give them a buzz that was sure to catch up with them later. The chocolate was finished off quickly, and Kiara could tell JJ was quickly growing bored by the tap of his finger against his thigh

She was, too. If she ever got married, she was vowing to never leave guests waiting for over an hour while she took hundreds of photos.

Her Aunt Lisa stopped by to say hello, curious about JJ and more than a little tispy. As the mother of the bride, she’d been agonizing over every little detail of this wedding for months, from the colors on the invitations to managing the cat fighting within the bridal party.

“Is this the new boyfriend, Kiara?” she cooed, a hand on JJ’s arm. He widened his eyes at Kiara, and she held in a snigger. Lisia didn’t appear to notice. “He’s handsome”

“Yeah,” Kiara said simply, because she very much doubted Lisa would even remember JJ after the night was over. Not because she was _that_ drunk, but because she never put that much stock into Kiara’s personal life unless it was to compare it to Charlotte’s.

Lisa studied JJ. “You know, I keep thinking you look so familiar. Who are your parents, again?”

Kiara didn’t even have to be looking to sense the change in JJ. He stiffened, arms braced and back in the defensive position he always wore when he was serving Kooks back on Figure Eight. Flight or flight mode was on, and his relatively cheery mood had evaporated.

Kiara answered for him. “You don’t know them.”

Lisa waved her off. “Growing up in the Outer Banks you know everyone. What are their names?”

“Uh.” JJ worked his lip, and Kiara was sure Lisa didn’t notice the daggers she was sending her. “Luke Maybank. That’s my dad.”

Kiara caught it immediately. The way her aunt’s eyes flashed, first with recognition, then knowing. She hated it. Hated her aunt thinking she knew a single thing about JJ from his family name.

“Oh,” Lisa said. Her smile was a little tighter around the edges. “Yes, I do know of him.”

Kiara could practically read her mind. _Ah, Kiara. So this is one of your trashy friends from the Cut._

JJ didn’t talk about his dad, and as long as Kiara was confident he wasn’t actively going to that house and being put in danger, she forced herself to keep quiet about it. She’d had to bite back many a retort when JJ seemed just a little shorter on money than he should be. They weren’t rich _yet_ , but he worked steady hours and should have enough to keep himself afloat.

When he turned down a trip to the movies, or said he’d wait and just eat a sandwich once he got home instead of ordering out, she was positive he’d delivered a recent haul of groceries to Luke.

There was an awkward silence in the air, so Kiara grabbed JJ’s hand. His fingers were stiff in hers.

“We should probably go find our table,” she said, false tones of friendliness in her voice. She wanted to drop the fact that JJ was about to be worth more than probably everyone at this wedding, once they both got their share of the gold. Wanted to mention that yes, Luke was a piece of shit, and no, it wasn’t his son’s fault. Wanted to say several things. But more than that, she wanted to be away from her aunt. “It’s getting late.”

“Enjoy. Dinner should be great.” Kiara didn’t miss the way Lisa’s gaze followed JJ, like she suddenly thought maybe he was going to start stealing the cutlery. She tried not to scowl, not wanting him to feed off her bad mood.

They found their table near what was sure to become the dance floor. She didn’t recognize any of the nametags placed near theirs, so she assumed they were grouped with some of the other younger guests. Most likely, they were Charlotte’s sorority sisters and their dates that didn’t make the bridesmaid cut.

JJ was quiet when they sat down, checking the time on his phone. No one else had migrated their way yet, but she still pushed her chair close to his.

“Surely they’ll be done soon,” she tried. “I’m starving.”

“Maybe,” he grunted, as if Kiara couldn’t spot his ruined mood from a mile away.

She’d gotten great at reading the boys over the years. John B liked to talk about his feelings, have a discussion about it and maybe throw in a hug or two. Pope preferred to be distracted with facts, or occasionally to analyze something together and come up with a solution.

JJ was the hardest to coax out of his shell. Too much emotion too quickly, and he retreated, walls strengthened tenfold.

“Sorry my aunt was so nosey,” Kiara said. She propped her chin on her hands and rolled her eyes, trying to keep it casual.

“Nosey. Right.”

“We should’ve made up a name. I guarantee she’d have been up all night failing to stalk your family on Facebook.”

“Now she’ll be spreading shit to everyone here instead.” JJ scoffed a little, completely without humor. She hadn’t seen him like this in a while, especially since they’d gotten a court order declaring the gold theirs, and he’d been spending more time with her and less with Luke.

Kiara frowned. “Bro, who cares? This is a bunch of Kooks we don’t like anyway.”

“You should. Bringing me was a stupid idea, even if you pissed off your mom like you wanted.”

_Pissed off your mom like you wanted._ Fair enough, but if only he knew half the things running though her brain.

“Look, I’m sorry my aunt pried into your business. It’s not her place—“

“It’s not that, Kie!” JJ half yelled, and Kiara was grateful for the music. Even with it, a few people nearby were looking over. “Face it. Someone like me is never going to fit in with people like this. It’s a fact of life. All it does is make them judge you for bringing me.”

Kiara faltered. She didn’t get it, the way he still thought like this. That she somehow valued the opinions of shallow people over his place as her best friend.

It was partly her Kook year haunting her, she thought. JJ would never throw it directly in her face after he’d forgiven her for something, but some scars never completely faded, no matter how much the bearer wanted them to.

Sometimes she wondered if that mistake would ever leave her. Maybe she didn’t deserve for it to.

Kiara took a breath, thinking about how to put it into words. Slowly, she said, “JJ, I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. _I_ think I’m really happy you’re here, and that this is pretty much the best time I’ve ever had at one of these dumb things. Because you’re here.”

It was true. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed this much, or maybe at all, at a formal family event. Stress over the fake date be damned, he’d made the experience bearable.

His mouth had dropped open a little, but she couldn’t help but go on. “If anything is embarrassing it’s that my family acts like that. Why do you think I’m not close to them? They’ve treated my dad like shit for years. People like that aren’t worth it.”

It was easy, she thought, for the boys to look at the successful business her dad ran and forget that he’d come from the Cut, just like them.

For once, JJ appeared to be a little at a loss for words. He worked his lip, blue eyes raking over her features. They softened, gradually, and Kiara found herself wondering if he’d ever quite looked at her like that before. Her skin buzzed under his gaze.

She didn’t get to hear whatever he would’ve come up with to say, because the wedding party chose that moment to make its entrance.

As Kiara clapped along politely to each pair called, he did, however, reach over to squeeze her shoulder. Some of the tension had also left his body, she noticed.

Dinner was served not long after; a meal of chicken, rice, and green beans. The green beans were steamed, not boiled, and there was garnish across the chicken. JJ poked it with his knife. “This is the food they spent a shit ton on? I could eat ten of these.”

He was already eyeballing her chicken, so she said, “Touch my food, and I will cut you.”

The redhead on Kiara’s left giggled. “You two are so cute.”

It was kind of amazing, Kiara was finding. How little they had to actually do to convince people they had a thing going on.

After the cake was cut, JJ brought over two slices, along with another pair of drinks. His hand with Kiara’s plate cake hovered dangerously close to her nose, and he said, “Don’t they usually shove cake in each other’s face or some shit? I swear I’ve seen it in the movies.”

She snatched the plate from his hands, scowling, but secretly glad he was joking again at all. “It can go in your face, if you don’t watch it— _JJ_!”

He’d dipped his finger into his icing and raked it across her nose just as quickly. He dodged safely out of range of her grasping hands, and didn’t come back until her shrieks had died down.

JJ sunk into relative silence again soon after. Whether he was still moping about her aunt’s prying or the atmosphere itself was just taking its toll on him, she wasn’t sure.

Charlotte and Brad finished their first dance, which was followed by the father-daughter dance and mother-daughter dance in turn, and JJ hardly looked up for any of them. Instead, he slouched in his seat, fiddling with his rings. His expression was somber, shadowed by the fairy lights from above.

Kiara watched him, guilt tickling her throat.

“Alright, the bride and groom would like you to join them on the dance floor!” the DJ announced over the speaker, and the beat of a familiar song began bouncing throughout the room.

The bridal party was the first to pile on to the dance floor, whooping and circling close to Charlotte and Brad. They were followed shortly by most of the younger guests, including the majority of those at their table.

Kiara took in the slope of JJ’s frown, the slant of his shoulders. She pushed herself to her feet. “Let’s dance.”

JJ hardly ever turned down an opportunity to dance with her. On the HMS Pogue, at the Wreck after her shift, at the Boneyard, wasted. He didn’t have the _best_ rhythm, per say, but he had fun with it, and that made dancing with him automatically fun. He was sunshine and laughter, and occasionally trailing hands she slapped away while pretending to be annoyed.

JJ threw his head back against his chair. “Uh, yeah, I think I’ll pass.”

“JJ,” Kiara complained. She bopped her shoulders to the beat, hoping he’d crack a smile. His lips twitched, but he didn’t budge from his seat. Her bright face melded into a glare. “You do realize you’re being that lame person at a party you hate, right?”

“I don’t want to dance with a bunch of Kooks,” he whined.

She reached down, her grip locking on his elbow. She lowered her voice and said, “Well, what your girlfriend for the night wants takes priority, don’t you think?

JJ stared up at her, and she swayed her hips and arms with the music. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he looked a little dazed. He let her tug him with her, reluctantly, but she felt him loosening up already.

It was good. Her mind was still buzzing from the drinks she’d had earlier, she was dancing with JJ, and he was smiling.

She weaved her fingers with his. Her heart warmed at the familiar feel of his callouses against her smoother skin, and a laugh erupted from her throat when he twirled her away from him and back again, hardly managing to catch her before she careened into another dancer.

They went nonstop for four songs, JJ moving a little too wildly and Kiara rolling her hips and happy to live up to the illusion that they were a young couple dancing together. She was breathless, both from the movement and laughter, when the last song ended and the slow strums of a more romantic song lilted throughout the ballroom.

They both paused. They never really did those cheesy, sway back and forth slow dances. Even at their middle school dances when Kiara still went to the same school as the boys, they tended to sit back and make fun of the rest of the kids in their class or otherwise disrupt things.

But then Kiara found herself smiling, because if they let this be weird then it would make quite a few things about the evening weird. She stepped in closer, winding her arms around his neck, and he followed her lead. His hands burned holes where they rested around her waist.

JJ was perpetually unable to stay silent, so he was quick to say, “Knew you’d wind up in my arms eventually.”

He shot her a shit-eating grin, but his eyes darted around the room to the other dancers, like he was afraid to look at her for too long so up close and personal. It was very un-JJ, but to be fair, romantic dancing to a slow song was something they’d never done.

“Oh you did, huh?”

“Uh huh.”

Maybe it was because she was having a nice time, or she was a little tipsier than she realized, but in a surge of confidence, Kiara moved forward, leaning her head in the crook of JJ’s neck. His steps faltered, briefly, but then his arms adjusted around her, wrapping to cocoon her more snuggly. A sigh escaped his lips, bleeding straight through to Kiara’s soul.

The steady _thump, thump, thump_ of his heart pounded in her ears, and she wanted to bottle the sound. Wanted to bottle the feeling of his arms wrapped around her and the pretense that when the song was over, she wouldn’t be kind of expected to let go.

One of his hands slid up the small of her back, almost absentmindedly, twirling at the ends of her hair again. She wanted to lean into the touch, purring like a cat.

Instead, Kiara raised her head up slightly, her face so close to his that their breath mingled. When her eyes met his, they were again sparkling with that open, strangely soft light that they’d had earlier and the music was good and his hands felt so right on her.

Before she fully had time to consider what she was doing, she’d shot through the small gap and covered his lips with hers.

He let out a little gasp against her mouth, and her bones sang at the contact. She didn’t know what she’d imagined, but he tasted like wedding cake and his hands stilled on her hip.

“ _Kiara,”_ he uttered, like a prayer, but before he’d really had a chance to move his lips against hers, he was pulling back. Like a nightmare playing out before her, he said, “Kiara, what are you doing?”

There was a visible battle taking place on his face as his gaze searched hers. Panic welled in Kiara’s throat. Shit.

“I just—Um,” came out of her mouth, gracefully.

JJ released a long, pained breath. “Are you—Are you drunk?” He swallowed, glancing around the room, and Kiara dimly realized that the established couple they were playing at wouldn’t be having an accidental first kiss meltdown on the dance floor.

That was the least of her worries.

“I think I should—I gotta go to the bathroom,” she blurted, and she couldn’t look at his face as she spun around. She heard him calling after her, vaguely, and it was senseless ringing in her ears.

She couldn’t stand there and listen to him reject her, right in front of hundreds of people.

Her eyes were burning, and she thanked the heavens above when she slammed the bathroom door and she was the only one in there.

The girl in the mirror somehow didn’t look as wrecked as she felt. Her curls were a little frizzier than normal from all the dancing, and her eyes were watery, but a stranger would probably think nothing of it.

Not knowing what else to do, she scrambled for her phone. Her first wish was to talk to John B, but she couldn’t really talk to John B about how she’d tried and failed to lay one on JJ, now, could she? Her second was to be alone, but Kiara knew from experience that she was self destructive and reclusive if she let herself be.

She needed to talk to someone.

_I think I’ve screwed up,_ she texted Sarah.

Kiara splashed a little water on her face. It didn’t appear to ruin her makeup, but honestly, she didn’t give a fuck if it did, at this point.

Two minutes hadn’t passed before her phone rang. “Hey,” she mumbled, and it came out a tad pathetic even to her own ears.

“What happened?” Sarah demanded. “Are you okay?’

“I tried to mack his face off,” she said, miserably, and there was a long silence on the other end of the line.

Kiara had never really been rejected. At least, not in any substantial way, unless she counted Sarah ghosting her at the end of the ninth grade. She’d turned down both John B and Pope’s romantic advances, and in hindsight, she sincerely hoped they didn’t feel the way she was currently feeling. Stomach churning, head spinning, like she’d rather just puke and get it all over with.

But she never thought she’d be _that_ girl. The one on the verge of tears over some guy in a bathroom.

“…And?” Sarah’s reply was carefully controlled.

Kiara wanted to deflect any form of vulnerability, but she realized that Sarah wanted to help her. She genuinely cared about her, and she had a lot more relationship experience than Kiara did, regardless of how successful said relationships had been.

“It’s not good. He tried to ask me if I was drunk.”

“And what did you say?”

“That I had to go to the bathroom,” Kiara said, and she got the distinct sensation that Sarah was trying not to laugh. To her credit, she didn’t. A voice drifted by outside, and Kiara froze, but whoever it was continued past without opening the door.

“I know you don’t want to hear this,” Sarah started, and Kiara agreed, even though she didn’t even know what it was yet. “But you’re going to have to talk to him.”

“I think I’d rather just find an ocean and drown myself.”

“I’m sorry, Kie.” Sarah hesitated again. “I was so sure he was into you. Did you give him a chance to say anything?”

“Yes,” she said. Reluctantly, she admitted, “ _No_. I guess not.”

“JJ loves you. Even if he does turn you down, he’s going to be cool about it.”

Kiara knew that Sarah was right. JJ might not want a romantic relationship with her (Might not want anything but sex with anyone, for all she knew), but she also knew that he’d do anything for her. He’d never be cruel, and if anyone could play it cool after an awkward rejection, it would be JJ.

If she and Pope could manage, then surely she and JJ could, too. She’d jumped off the cliff, and now she had no choice but to face the consequences

* * *

At least half an hour had passed when she found JJ in the hall outside the ballroom, his juul in hand. She didn’t even know he’d managed to sneak it into his pocket, but she wasn’t surprised. He was slumped over, running his fingers through his hair, and a cloud of mango vapor surrounded him.

Pushing down her dread, Kiara said, “JJ.”

His head shot up at the sound of her voice. “Kie.”

There was a long, loaded silence that was distinctly unlike them. JJ pulled a hand through his hair again, taking her in. Maybe he was expecting some other kind of emotional breakdown, or for her to run off again. Finally, he managed, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” No. She shrugged, the corner of her lip pulling back. Sarah had pointed out that she needed to actually talk to JJ about all this, to have a discussion. And Sarah was right, technically, but she sure as hell didn’t want to do it here.

“Obviously I had too much to drink, though,” she lied. “I think I’ve had enough wedding for one night.”

Something on his face fell. “Sure.” His hand fidgeted around in his pocket, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth, which Kiara definitely did not look at. He made a little noise of victory when he found the card key she had trusted him with to still be there. “Won’t hear a complaint out of me.”

She felt him watching her as they made their way to the elevator; saw him twisting his rings around his fingers. The elevator doors clicked shut, and whatever words Kiara was struggling to find got caught in her throat.

She didn’t know how to do this.

JJ beat her to it. “Kie, I can—I’m sorry, I know the no Pogue on Pogue macking rule is a big deal to you, and if it’s too weird, I can just, like, leave?”

Kiara wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly. “What?”

“I can sleep in the car. Or drive it home myself. I don’t care.” He was talking very fast, like if he didn’t get everything out, his lungs might just explode. He was looking vaguely in her direction, but there was a blankness about his face. It was the look he got when he was shutting down.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I just don’t want things to be weird, and you’ve got this weird ass look on your face and I can tell—We can just pretend it didn’t happen if you’d rather?”

Kiara was tired. She felt a headache coming on. She would probably regret it in the morning, but she was done with the bullshit.

“I’m the one who kissed you and made you come here, so if anyone should be embarrassed, it’s me,” she snapped. “But I’m not and I don’t regret it, so can we please just go to our room and get some sleep?”

His mouth snapped shut, then snapped open again. He looked like a fish gaping for air, and normally Kiara would’ve found it funny, but she didn’t have it in her at the moment.

She’d thought she’d shut him up for the night, but a few seconds later he was talking again.

“So, just to be clear here…” He shuffled in place, and Kiara tugged her arm against her side. “Sorry. I’m just really fucking confused.”

She let herself meet his eyes. They were earnest, and she knew that if she told him right there that she only kissed him because she was drunk, that yes, it was actually a mistake, or simply that she never wanted to speak of it again, he’d give her that out. He’d probably even do an amazing job at pretending it didn’t even happen if she asked.

There was a glimmer there, something dangerously akin to hope, that made her steel herself.

Honesty. Right.

She fixated on her sandals, the silver winking under the harsh elevator lights. “I kissed you because I wanted to,” she admitted, in a voice so quiet she could hardly hear herself. It felt like a weight had lifted off her shoulders and a wave was crashing down on her all at once.

She forced herself to look up and give a wounded half smile. “But it doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”

And wow, she must have grown some kind of superpower, because she seemed to have rendered JJ relatively speechless yet again. He took a step towards her, then another, until he was practically crowding her against the wall.

A good sign, she hoped. She assumed rejections didn’t usually get kicked off by being all up in the other person’s space. Unless he thought she’d need a hug after or something, in which case she might end up arrested for voluntary manslaughter.

“Kie…” She could’ve sworn his fingers were trembling as they grazed her cheek.

“Yeah?” she whispered back. She didn’t realize she was biting her lip until his thumb had brushed against it, tugging it from her teeth and making her forget how to breathe altogether.

One second he was there, like he was giving her a chance to bolt if she wanted, and the next he’d swept forward, crashing his mouth to hers. A little _oomph_ escaped her, and then she was kissing him back, bringing her hands around his back to pull him against her.

He was all heat and passion and _JJ_ , and Kiara was half sure she was living some sort of fever dream, because yeah, she’d thought about this happening while they were on this weekend getaway pretending to be in love, but she’d never _actually_ thought it would happen.

Her tongue brushed his lower lip, and he breathed, “ _Fuck_.” It was hot against her mouth, and she hardly noticed when the elevator started dinging incessantly, indicating that they’d arrived at their floor.

His hand was tracing her ribs through the silk of her dress when she reluctantly pushed him away. He stared at her, eyes dark and collar popping up from where she’d been holding onto it without realizing.

“Kie?” JJ said. Panic skirted across his features, so she nodded towards the door.

“Our floor.” Her voice came out throaty and undone, but she didn’t even care to be embarrassed by it.

“Oh. Right. Duh.”

JJ’s shoulders were pulled tight, and under the flush in his cheeks, he looked nervous again. His attention was caught on her mouth, which was no doubt kiss-swollen, and she wondered if it was just as surreal for him as it was for her.

He didn’t move to start kissing her again, but Kiara was done with the tiptoeing. Her hands cupped his shoulders, and then she was pushing him against a nearby wall, lips tingling when they found his again.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he whimpered, between kisses. Kiara couldn’t contain her grin.

Her hands searched under the lapels of his jacket, feeling the hard muscle through his dress shirt, and she shuddered. Emboldened by her advances, JJ gave her backside a brief squeeze. An embarrassing sound clawed its way out of her mouth.

“Room, now,” Kiara urged. As much as she didn’t care at the moment, there were actual people in the room they were perched outside of, and she hated to think she might have to look them in the eyes over the complimentary breakfast in the morning.

“Yes m’am.”

Then JJ was walking her backwards, in what she hoped to be the direction of their room. She didn’t even remember where it was at the moment, or where she was, for that matter.

It could’ve taken seconds or hours for her to bump into an entryway she hoped belonged to them.

JJ fumbled through his pockets for the key, but his lips were on her jaw, the pulse of her throat, her cheek, like he just couldn’t stop touching her. Kiara stood there panting, back braced against the wall and watching his Adam’s apple bob while thinking, _Holy shit. This is really a thing that’s happening._

The door handled jiggled. And jiggled some more. “JJ,” she growled, her breath coming in short little bursts. “I swear, if you don’t get that door open right this second—“

She wanted, no, _needed_ his hands back on her. Both of them, no exceptions.

Then they were tumbling through the door, his laughter on her lips. “If I’d known you’d be this excited, I’d have kissed you a long time ago,” he said, then paused as she felt her knees hit his bed. “Sorry. Wait. That came out weird.”

Her hands paused their descent up his chest to push his jacket off. One of them hovered on his cheek for a second, and she allowed herself to smile at him. Really smile. The lights were off and he was looking at her like she was a goddess and it brought a renewed sense of confidence to her.

“In a good way.”

He beamed, ducking his head like he didn’t want her to see it, but she made it out even in the dim room. Her hand drifted to his bowtie and gave a sharp tug to pull his lips back to hers. His jacket finally clattered to the floor, forgotten.

Ever since they entered high school and maybe even before, Kiara had heard the stories. Both from JJ boasting to the other guys when a Touron stumbled out of the Chateau after a long night at the Boneyard, and from the whispers of other girls. How JJ was good with his hands and his mouth and everything in between, how his sharp tongue was good for more than just quicksilver insults at Kooks.

The stories were true. He was good, even just kissing.

Or maybe she was just that into him. Probably both.

She toppled onto the mattress, and he followed, elbows braced above her. His golden hair hung down over her, his pupils blown so wide she could no longer make out the blue she loved so much. One knee landed between her thighs, and she throbbed with need.

He hovered there too long, gaze raking over her face. Kiara didn’t want to give him time to overthink things, to make it more complicated than it needed to be right there in this moment like she’d been guilty of doing for years. She yanked him back down towards her, devouring his mouth with hers.

A groan rose from his throat, and it made her toes curl.

Kiara ripped the bottom of his button-down out of his pants, fingers skimming greedily over his lower abs. His glorious, glorious abs.

“Off,” she ordered, and then JJ was fumbling with the buttons. He placed an open mouth kissed to her breastbone, and her back arched subconsciously.

She needed skin on skin _now._

“Fuck.” JJ’s shirt was caught around his neck, trapped in the bowtie he’d forgotten to take off.

“Oh my God, come here,” Kiara said, unable to bite back her snorts of laughter. She pulled on the end of the bowtie and it came unraveled in her hand, where it soon joined his jacket as a castaway. “How are you even alive?”

She’d be lying if she said she’d never imagined sex with JJ, but somehow she’d always left out details like this. Quiet laughter, talking to each other, the _them_ of it all. Something stupidly warm bubbled inside her.

“Stupid of people to dress like this,” he griped, but then his shirt was off and Kiara’s chuckles died in her chest when he pressed back against her. She hummed, fingers skimming over his toned back.

“JJ,” Kiara said, as his mouth trailed from hers. He didn’t look up at her, too preoccupied with nipping at her collarbone. “ _JJ.”_

His looked up, eyes glazed over and hair askew.

“Do you have a condom?” she asked, surprising even herself a little with her bluntness.

JJ shook his head at her, blankly, like he couldn’t quite comprehend what she was saying. Like he’d never allowed himself to think for a second past kissing her, even though Kiara had kind of wanted him to get naked as soon as the door closed behind them.

Finally, he pushed himself up, fingers bunching in the sheets. “Yeah. Right. Okay. Let me just—”

He half stumbled out of the bed, rooting around for his discarded wallet. Kiara watched him, admiring the hard ridges of his shirtless silhouette. Considering the circumstances, she figured she was allowed to stare now.

“Shit. Fuck.”

“What is it?” she asked.

“I’m sorry,” JJ blurted, a hand in his hair. “Kie, I don’t have one. I didn’t think—Maybe there’s a drugstore. But I guess that’s kind of a mood killer.”

“JJ,” she interrupted. She pushed herself up onto her elbows, biting back her impatience. “Shut up.”

He stopped talking. Her neck was growing hot, but she nudged him in the thigh with her foot. “Check my purse.”

He did a double take at her, confused, but then he was obediently digging through her purse. Not allowing herself to dwell on it, Kiara stood up and yanked the zipper down on her dress and shimmied out of it so that she was standing in nothing but her underwear.

JJ’s fingers emerged from her purse victoriously with a little bundle of foil, but he froze when he saw her. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I didn’t want to come.”

“You won’t be if you don’t stop talking.”

He was upon her again in a flash, hands ghosting up and down her sides like he couldn’t believe she was real. She was right there with him.

His lips planted a single, hot kiss above the band of her bra, and the remainder of their clothes joined the others in rapid succession. Kiara was dizzy with want. She needed more, and more, and _more_.

There was another trickle of hesitation on JJ’s part. He hung over her, eyes soft and reverent and way too nervous for her liking. “You sure this is okay?”

She answered him by kneading a hand through the soft strands at the base of his neck and pulling him down for another kiss. Was it possible to be surer of anything?

A soft sigh, and then they plummeted into the abyss together. A tangle of limbs, racing hearts, and a mumble of words that sounded a lot like, “I love you” into the crook of Kiara’s neck.

Later, when the room stopped spinning and she was close to drifting off, she felt something light and warm press against her bare shoulder. It was so chaste it took her sleep-addled brain several seconds to realize it had been a kiss.

* * *

Kiara woke to rays of sunshine drifting in through the blinds and a pleasant ache between her legs. It took her several bleary seconds to remember where she was and what exactly had transpired the night before. Reflexively, her hand stumbled out, searching and coming up with nothing but empty mattress.

Worry seized her, and she slowly sat up. The sheets pooled around her naked waist.

JJ wasn’t in the room, and the bathroom door was wide open. Empty.

Kiara’s breathing picked up. She’d thought that there had been an understanding last night, but the more her mind raced, the less words she remembered them actually exchanging and the more anxious she became.

His bag was still thrown at the foot of the bed, clothes strewn about, so at the very least, he hadn’t left.

Not knowing what else to do, Kiara dug around for a clean pair of underwear and bra, then slid on JJ’s dress shirt from the night before, letting it hang unbuttoned. It still smelled like him, and it sent her straight back to the feeling of being tangled up with him the night before.

Whatever discussion they would be having when he returned, at least she wouldn’t be butt naked doing it.

Her phone was almost dead, because she hadn’t exactly taken the time to plug it up to a charger the night before. It revealed the time to be past nine-thirty, and a shitload of unopened text messages.

Several were from Sarah, descending from asking if she was okay to straight out gibberish. One was from John B asking to send a picture of JJ in his suit for ragging purposes, and the rest were from her mom, wondering where she’d disappeared to and why she’d left so early. She mentioned that Kiara had missed the bouquet toss at least ten times.

Nothing from JJ.

She didn’t have to wonder much longer, because soon the door was being pushed open, revealing a blond juggling two plates in his hands and utensils clenched rather unconventionally between his teeth. He paused at the sight of her.

“Oh. You’re up.” JJ did a borderline awkward dance over to the bed, where he sat down two steaming servings of gravy and biscuits in front of her. He remained standing, like he wasn’t sure if she wanted him to sit or not, and his eyes were making an obvious effort not to linger on anything below her neck.

He held out a bottle of orange juice, thumb bouncing against it. “They didn’t have any tea.”

Her heart felt like it might burst. She managed a smile, with a strong suspicion that it might be a bit watery.

“Thanks.” Kiara took the juice, blinking. Their fingers brushed, and he glanced at her, uncertainty shining in his face. She said, “Well… Are you going to stand there all day?”

His face broke out into a relieved grin that he tried to pass off as lazy, and he bounced onto the bed. Kiara had to reach out and prevent her gravy from sliding onto the comforter.

“Oops,” he said, at her look, but he didn’t really sound sorry. They both took a few bites of biscuit in silence, but predictably, JJ was quick to break it again. “So… Should we talk about it, or…?”

Kiara swallowed, then said, “Yeah, probably.”

“Were you drunk?” he asked, and by the nervous lilt of his mouth, she got the impression that it was a question he’d been agonizing over.

“No,” she admitted. “You?”

JJ scoffed. “No. Not off those fruity ass drinks.”

He was watching her, and Kiara realized he was waiting for her to take the lead. She fiddled with a string fraying off the edge of the bedspread. “So, I meant what I said.”

“Yeah?” He tilted his head. “You kinda said a lot of nice stuff about me last night, so like—“

She cut him off with a pillow to his face, and he caught it before it plopped into his breakfast, sniggering. He sobered gradually, a more serious expression clouding his face. His jaw even clenched a little, like he was bracing himself.

“How I wanted to kiss you, dumbass,” Kiara said. He perked up a little too obviously for her to get too flustered over the admission. It gave her the confidence to go on. “Have for a while.”

He smiled, and then paused before smiling again, wider this time. “How long is a while?”

“Well.” Kiara had a brief debate in her head, wondering how much she should admit to. But JJ looked happy, open and more content than she could remember seeing him in a very long time. “I had a brief lapse of judgment when we were about thirteen, and I guess it’s kinda been on and off since.”

“Wow, that’s embarrassing, Kie.”

She looked up, trying to scowl but not quite able to, because this all seemed to be going fairly well, and maybe her hopes were soaring, okay? His hand fell on her knee, giving it a small squeeze.

“Well, how long have you wanted to?” She made little air quotes with her hands, mocking, “I would’ve kissed you sooner if I’d known?”

“Uh, longer than a while.” His hand had migrated upwards, drawing little circles on her thigh. He huffed a laugh. “Not that it wasn’t obvious.”

Kiara took him in, surprised. His hair was ruffled from sleep, and there was a smile that just wouldn’t seem to leave his face. She could tell he was serious.

“I had no idea.” His eyebrows shot up. She corrected, “I mean, I knew you’d probably sleep with me if I wanted to, but I didn’t know it was any more than that.”

He hadn’t exactly put what he was feeling into words, so she really hoped she wasn’t jumping the gun. He proved her right when he let out a noise of disbelief.

“Dude. I flirted with you, like, 24/7.”

“I guess I never thought you were serious. There were so many girls you hooked up with…” Her voice trailed off. His hand stilled.

“Well, yeah, but…” JJ struggled to find the words. “I never gave a fuck about seeing them again. They felt the same way.”

Kiara wasn’t so sure about that. She’d seen a few disappointed looks on girls’ faces when she’d had to help shoo them out of the Chateau in the morning, not even asking them to stay for breakfast. More often than not, if one lingered, JJ would stand behind the counter, sending pleading looks her way.

Her hand reached out to squeeze his, and she shot a smile at him between bites. “All that matters is we figured it out. Right?”

It hung in the air.

Then he was clutching her hand back, nodding. He scooted closer to her on the bed, and she leaned her arm into his. Her skin prickled pleasantly at the feel of his, a sensation she didn’t think she’d ever get tired of.

“I have another serious question.” Kiara could hear the repressed laughter in his voice. “You like, totally planned for this to happen, right?”

He shot a significant look at her state of undress, waggling a finger in between them.

“Okay, no, _so_ did not—“

“So you always carry condoms in your purse for family events? Interesting.”

Kiara pursed her lips. She thought about telling him she’d brought it in case there was a hot groomsman she took a liking to after all. Instead, she said, “Maybe I hoped it would happen. A little.”

And maybe an annoying best friend named Sarah had gotten in her head more than she’d let on.

Kiara made a mental note to thank her later.

“I’m just saying, I saw a second one in there.”

He nuzzled her jaw, and she melted into him on instinct before remembering, “Okay, yes, but I’m brushing my teeth first.”

“I like you dirty.” His breath tickled the flesh under her jaw, leaving her pulse singing. A very large part of her wanted to take him up on his offer, but she pushed his shoulder to shove him off her. He fell back into the pillows, pouting.

“After _we_ brush our teeth, and then we have to hurry. Checkout is in an hour.”

“So vanilla.”

Kiara met his eyes in the mirror, toothpaste already in hand. “Well, if you expect to kiss me, you better be minty fresh too.”

He was out of the bed in seconds, joining her in the bathroom. They brushed their teeth in silence, apart from JJ laughing as he bumped her away from the sink with his hip so he could spit first.

Kiara wiped her face with a towel, watching as he inched closer. “I’m telling my parents your story was wrong, by the way.”

“What?” His voice was far away, all his focus on her mouth. One hand ran up her arm, which sent chills dancing from her fingers to her toes. 

“You didn’t do shit _. I_ made the move.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments and interacting with fellow jiara fans on tumblr (alphinias)!


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